Alpha Bidet iX Hybrid vs. Alpha Bidet GX Wave

New bidets from a new company. How do they compare?

Alpha Bidet is a relative newcomer to the game with only 5 years on the market and only recently really starting to gain traction with their newest lineup of bidets.

The Alpha Bidet GX Wave and the Alpha Bidet iX Hybrid are the lower and middle tiers respectively of Alpha Bidet’s lineup.

They both polish posteriors, but how do you determine which is the best choice for you?

To compare, let’s look at a few different facets of the bidets at hand:

  • The cost
  • Best features
  • Who is this bidet for?

Let’s start with the lower cost model first, the GX Wave.

The Alpha Bidet GX Wave and its side panel control.


The Wave GX comes in at $279 on Alpha Bidet’s website (although Amazon lists it a bit less expensive) a whole $50 cheaper than the iX Hybrid.

Best features

Alpha Bidet packed a worthy boatload of great features into the GX Wave. While not quite the ridiculous bang for buck you get with the TOTO C100 which is more expensive than even the iX Hybrid.

Here they are at a glance:

  • Stainless steel nozzle – much more hygienic than plastic and longer lasting.
  • Hybrid water heating system – “never cold” water. It may not stay as hot as you like, but it never actually gets cold, thank God – Northerners know the pain of that icy winter water
  • Decently powerful dryer – a bit more powerful than the average bidet seat, but still isn’t going to get you 100% dry in a quick minute. Pro-tip: give it a quick pass with toilet paper first to speed that process up.
  • Oscillating nozzle – for me, this is a huge feature. Instead of having to ride my toilet seat like a regular at the bare-ass underground bull-riding club to get full coverage of the Pookushima Exclusion Zone.
  • Pulsating cleanse – pulses water for a massaging effect. Really helps those with occasional constipation (but don’t ask me to get into why).
  • Child wash – goes through a full wash/dry cycle so that the kids can’t exert any artistic freedom with their hygiene.
  • LED night-light – Some might find this totally uncessary, but I love these. It really makes those late night safaris into the bathroom much more pleasant. More importantly (to me) is that is just makes your toilet seem as if it’s from the future. Yep.
  • Strong rear wash – this is a separate nozzle from the regular rear wash. It outputs much more water at higher pressure to make sure you absolutely sparkle.
  • Sittable lid – this lid can support up to 200lbs, so to those who frequently find themselves just sitting in the bathroom, this goes out to you. Also, this is something the iX Hybrid DOESN’T have!
  • Nails the basics – As with most bidet seats, the basics are hard to mess up. There’s adjustable water pressure, heated seats (adjustable), a feminine nozzle, and a slow-close lid.

Who is this for?

The Alpha Bidet GX Wave is a really good value.

If you’re just dipping your toes into the wondrous world of bidets and have been dreaming of truly clean butts, consider the Alpha Bidet GX Wave.

This can also be a great secondary bidet if you’ve already got one in your primary bathroom and want to spruce up the guest bathroom.

Onto the Alpha Bidet iX Hybrid.

The Alpha Bidet iX Hybrid and its remote control.


At $329 on Alpha Bidet’s website, you will be spending a reasonable premium to upgrade to this more advanced model (again, Amazon has a MUCH less expensive price point for this bad boy).

Best features

Let me start by saying the iX Hybrid has everything the GX Wave does except for the sittable lid and side panel control. If you really like that aesthetic, go for the GX.

What sets the iX Hybrid apart are:

  • Soft rear wash – an option for a softer, more dispersed stream – this is especially useful for those with painful hemorrhoids.
  • Blue LED night-light – yes, I think the blue is superior to the white. That’s just me, though.
  • Remote – this is a personal preference, but there are many who see having a remote as a step-up from a side panel. It can make the toilet more streamlined and prevent you from having to contort your wrist to reach the buttons.
  • Better water heating – endless warm water versus the “never cold” promise of the GX Wave. This alone may be worth the upgrade!

Who is this bidet for?

While the features that separate the iX Hybrid from the GX Wave aren’t overwhelming, the water heating method and the remote should be enough, in most cases, to convince one to upgrade.

This bidet is for those who want to take a full, first-step into the beautiful land of bidets without having to be quite as budget conscious. This is a great first bidet for a master bathroom.

Kohler K-5401 Veil Smart Toilet – The Whole Story

My favorite smart toilet by Kohler. What makes the K-5401 Veil smart toilet worth it?

When speaking of the Kohler K-5401 Veil, the first thing that will strike anyone is undoubtedly its look.

I mean, come on.

That’s a toilet that’s going to make your eye’s pop out, tongue loll out and a few involuntary AWOOOOGAs escape your lips.

Check the price of the Kohler Veil here.

Modern, sleek, sexy and clean, this high-end smart toilet checks all the right boxes when it comes to bringing your bathroom into the 21st century.

Much of this can be attributed to its tankless design – something we’ve seen more and more of in the last few years in both bidets and integrated toilets.

Essentially, the premium Kohler K-5401 draws the water directly from your water line and heats it instantly without the need to hold and heat it in a tank. The advantage of doing this?

There’s no risk of using all the tank’s heated water reserves, so you get unlimited warm water.

Gimme the features!

The next best thing about this magnificent porcelain monolith is the hefty features list.

The Kohler Veil packs a serious wallop when it flexes its feature list. Let’s see the rundown:

“Combining a stainless steel wand with both UV light and a spritz of electrolyzed water results in an unparalleled degree of cleanliness. “

  • Tankless, inline and instantaneous water heating allows for the minimalist look
  • .8 or 1.28 gallon flush options
  • Wand made of stainless steel for ultimate hygiene
  • UV and electrolyzed water system cleans wand thoroughly after each use
  • Both frontal and rear wash
  • Oscillating and pulsating cleanses as well as the ability to adjust the shape of the spray
  • Warm air dryer completely eliminates need for toilet paper
  • Deodorizer whisks away “the stank”
  • Auto raise and lower lid keeps your hands off the toilet
  • LED remote

To me, the most impressive features on the list work in concert to promote hygiene.
Combining a stainless steel wand with both UV light and a spritz of electrolyzed water results in an unparalleled degree of cleanliness. You could probably unscrew that sucker and use it as a straw (don’t try this, please).

All this paired with easy installation and looks that are sure to dazzle any beautiful-bathroom enthusiast make the Kohler an easy recommend.

Smart Toilets for Smart People. The Best Integrated Toilet Bidets.

Integrated toilet bidets are the ultimate in luxurious poopin’, but what makes a good one and which ones are the best around?

What makes a great smart toilet?


The look of your toilet can determine whether your bathroom looks like a poo palace or a piece of crap.

Builder brand toilets (the kinds that come with many Lenar, Beazer or other builder homes) are generally unappealing, not to mention barely serviceable.

An integrated toilet bidet with a modern design can transform your bathroom completely. Also, most companies cutting edge designs are done in the style of integrated toilet bidets rather than regular toilets.


The features of most of these integrated bidets don’t vary too much as these bathroom beasts are all resting near the pinnacle of poopin’ tech.

What’s going to set them apart are going to be bells and whistles and how the features themselves perform.

For example, is the dryer actually going to dry my bum or am I going to have to get some toilet paper involved?

Ease of use

Your futuristic, nearly sentient toilet isn’t going to impress anyone if nobody can figure the damn thing out.

Being user friendly is important.

Ease of installation

This can end up saving you hundreds of dollars if you’re able to install the bidet yourself.

Thankfully, if you can get a little help for the lifting and positioning portion of the installation, anyone should be able to install most of these integrated bidets with basic tools.


What’s really meant by cost is the value per dollar rather than the cost as a deciding factor by itself.

The List

  • TOTO G400
  • Bio Bidet IB835
  • TOTO Neorest 550H
  • Kohler K-5401-0 Veil


The TOTO G400 is the best value smart toilet you’re gonna find.


When looking at the G400, you can clearly see that this guy is made of two separate units, the top which houses the bidet functions and water tank and the bottom which is the toilet.

While It looks quite good, it isn’t the best looking smart toilet as those are one piece and just look so darn good.

The sloping seat and lid flow right into the tank and electronics housing which are both clean looking without useless visual clutter and subtle branding.


The features of this unit closely mirror those in the TOTO S550 with a few added bonuses.

  • Heated seats and water with 5 levels of heat.
  • Front, rear, and soft rear cleanse modes.
  • Auto open and close lid.
  • Oscillating and pulsating cleanse.
  • 2 user profiles to save temperature, water pressure, and nozzle positions.
  • Bowl premist and CeFiONtect bowl glaze make it incredibly hard for anything brown and sticky to stick to the inside of the bowl resulting in less time spent scrubbing.
  • Auto flush automatically determines how much water to use and flushes as you stand up.
Look at that coverage! Oo lala.
  • Cyclone flush system sends two streams of water spinning down the bowl to get every inch of porcelain. Nowhere to hide for El Turdo.
  • Warm air dryer and deodorizer.

Ease of use

The TOTO G400 is user friendly, although, if someone hasn’t used a bidet before it might seem a bit overwhelming. This is true of every electric bidet, though.

The G400 uses the same remote as the S350 and S550

The remote is easy to operate and as long as the person using it knows the difference between front/rear wash and oscillating and pulsating cleanses, there shouldn’t be any surprises.

Ease of installation

If you can install a toilet, you can install the TOTO G400. There’s nothing surprising with the installation (spoiler, this is the case with all the other smart toilets!).

The only extra step and something to be aware of is the need for an electrical outlet. Don’t buy any smart toilet f you have nowhere to plug it in and aren’t ready to install a new outlet!


The TOTO G400 is definitely worth the price. A TOTO toilet with cyclone flush technology is already going to cost upwards of $500, add onto that a bidet that’s comparable to the TOTO S550 with auto flushing and a modern, skirted design and you have a great buy at just under $2000.

See the current price of the TOTO G400 here.

Bio Bidet IB835

The Bio Bidet IB835 brings sleek looks and a wonderful remote to the smart toilet party.


The Bio Bidet IB835 is long, low and… cute – there, I said it. It looks cute! It reminds me of a beluga whale’s face.

This isn’t to say I wouldn’t want it in my bathroom! Bio Bidet has done a great job making this smart toilet look modern and clean.

The toilet section is smooth lines all around and the bidet section is a bit more streamlined than the TOTO G400’s.

Overall, a definite statement maker that will set your bathroom apart.


The features of the IB835 are comparable to any other top-of-the-line bidet with the added bonuses of an above average remote and a kids’ mode.

A glance at the IB835’s remote. A note: “cleanse” is posterior wash and “bidet” is feminine wash. Also, the lower tier of options pops out of the bottom of the remote when pressed – a cool feature.

All the usual suspects such as:

  • Heated seats and adjustable water temperature and pressure.
  • Rear and frontal cleansing modes.
  • Oscillating and pulsating cleansing modes.
  • Warm air dryer and deodorizer.
  • Auto flush and remote-controlled flush.
  • Kids’ mode that runs a full wash/dry posterior clean cycle with low pressure.
  • Illuminated LCD remote.

Ease of use

Once you figure out the remote’s weird naming scheme, it’s smooth sailing.

Bio Bidet has tried to simplify the use of the bidet by reducing the various functions to their basic essence – for example, the oscillating mode has been changed to just “moving” and pulsating has been changed to “massage”.

Also, the basic cleaning functions have been dubbed “cleanse” for the rear wash and “bidet” for the frontal wash.

I’m not sure their rational for this as I’m sure most people buying an expensive smart toilet like this are familiar with the general terminology.

What’s most baffling is that there is no consistent terminology throughout the rest of Bio Bidet’s lineup. The BB 2000 just has pictures. The BB 1000 is the clearest with “feminine” and “posterior” modes clearly distinguished.

Anyway, this turned into a bit of a rant, but that’s not to say the unit is hard to use, I just wish Bio Bidet would stick to a more consistent naming scheme for its bidets’ functions.

Ease of installation

As mentioned in the G400 section, there’s nothing terribly hard about installing any of these smart toilets – as long as you’re able to install a regular toilet, you should have no issues.


The classic look is tough to compete with.

The Bio Bidet IB835 is starting to creep into luxury territory in terms of the cost. With these guys going for $2000 or more, you start to wonder if it’s worth it.

The IB835 smart toilet is worth it – the features list may be a bit lacking compared to the other toilets on this list (no auto open/close lid or bowl pre-mist), but the smooth design alone and otherwise comprehensive feature list make it worth the price.

See the current price of the Bio Bidet IB835 here.

TOTO Neorest NX1

A sexy choice for those most concerned with using less water.


The TOTO Neorest NX1 is said to be inspired by earthenware vases, handmade by a master craftsman.

Take that how you will, but I, for one, have to agree that this smart toilet is just plain foxy.

Smooth lines all around, this toilet reminds me of something a pre-cog from the movie Minority Report would bathe in. It’s THAT futuristic. It’s also won Red Dot and iF Design Awards which nothing else on this list can say.

Bottom line is this – if creating a beautiful bathroom is your number one priority, this is your best option.


The features of the TOTO Neorest NX1 are nearly identical to that of the TOTO G400 save for the few I’ll list here:

  • Ultra efficient, 1 gallon per flush or .8 gallon per flush modes.
  • Warm-white bowl illuminating night-light.
  • Ewater + for both pre-mist of the bowl and cleaning of the nozzle. Ewater+ is electrolyzed water which is an amazing and environmentally friendly cleaner and disinfectant.

As you can see, the features list isn’t much more than that of the previous two integrated toilet bidets. The reason for the price premium is the attention to appearance.

Ease of operation

The beautiful remote controls the Neorest NX1 effortlessly controls the toilet.

There are two rows of buttons, one on the front and one on top. The front row controls all bidet functions except the oscillation and pulsation. The top row controls the other functions like the dryer, flushing and opening and closing the lid.

Ease of installation

The only reason this might be a bit trickier to install is the anxiety one might encounter due to the potential for scratching what is essentially a piece of art that you poop into.


At around $10,000 on TOTO’s website and $7,000-ish on others, it’s hard to justify splurging on the TOTO NX1 unless you’ve got the cash to spare and really want to wow your friends (and yourself).

Nonetheless, this beautiful smart toilet deserves a place on this list.

See the current price of the TOTO NX1 here.

Kohler K-5401 Veil

The Kohler Veil smart toilet is a pillar of style with brains and a seemingly endless features list to match.


Some may say this integrated toilet bidet takes the cake for best lookin’. I still maintain the Neorest NX1 as the pageant queen, but I could never fault someone for preferring the Kohler Veil.

It separates itself from other smart toilets in its flower-like appearance – it looks more like a lily than a toilet

Like the Neorest NX1, the Kohler K-5401 presents a stark contrast most other bidets and will undoubtedly make anyone lucky enough to use it say “woah, dude”.


The Kohler K-5401 packs an impressive list of features, beating out the others on this list in sheer number.

  • Heated seats and adjustable water temperature and pressure.
  • Front and rear cleansing modes with the ability to change the width of the spray – this is the future right here!
  • Stainless steel nozzle.
  • 1.28 gallons per flush or .8 gallons per flush.
  • LED night-light.
Like a moth to the bug zapper….
  • Electrolyzed water (same as TOTO’s branded Ewater+) AND UV light used to sanitize the device.
  • Deodorizer
  • Warm-air dryer.
  • Auto raise and lower lid.
  • Touch-screen LCD remote

Ease of use

With a clearly labeled remote (and the coolest one here), operating the Kohler K-5401 is a sinch.

Plain English is great – some questionable pictures, not so much.

With everything clearly labeled in English, you can forgive the confusing imagery. I mean, wtf is going on with the “massage” image? And the front and rear wash pictures – why are there two streams? Why not just show the front and rear stream exclusively?

These are, of course, small annoyances. It’s hard to find a perfect remote, but the Kohler K-5401 comes close and is a look at the future.

Ease of installation

It isn’t the easiest thing in the world to screw in the floor studs after removing the access cover if you have larger tools or hands, but other than that, this is manother job that can easily be done by those with who can measure accurately and have experience in basic plumbing and using tools.


If all smart toilets were lined up in a row in order of least to most expensive and I started at the cheapest and made my way towards the most expensive, this is the first one I’d stop at and say “mama mia, you’re a spicy little meatball, aren’t ya?”

In other words, it’s a shockingly good looking bidet and the first one to catch my eye at this price range or below which is around $3,500

If you’re looking for a bidet that packs a massive feature list including stainless steel nozzle, adjustable spray width and UV light disinfection and looks stunning, get this one.

See the current price of the Kohler K-5401 Veil here.

Woodbridge T-0737 Integrated Bidet Toilet Review

Pretty, aint it?

An integrated bidet toilet for less than $1000? Get out of here, man!

See the current price here.

It’s true, the Woodbridge T-0737 is a wonderful integrated bidet toilet and yes, it really costs less than $1000.

The Woodbridge T-0737 isn’t a true integrated bidet in the purest sense of the word, as the toilet and bidet (model BDI-01)are two separate pieces that are sold individually and can be paired with other pieces.

That being said, these two can be had as a package deal and fit so well together that they may as well work as an integrated unit.

Why buy the Woodbridge T-0737 integrated bidet?

The features:

  • Beautiful modern design that makes for easy cleaning.
  • 1.0/1.6 gallon flush options help save water.
  • The BDI-01 bidet kicks serious booty and is made for Woodbridge one-piece toilets.
  • Front and rear wash modes.
  • Stainless steel, self-cleaning nozzle
  • Heated seats and instantaneous and unlimited warm water.
  • Warm air dryer.
  • Oscillating and pulsating functions.
  • Filtered water.
  • Wireless remote.

The good:

  • Beautiful design of both toilet and bidet.
  • Bidet fits the toilet perfectly.
  • Bidet feels solid on the toilet.
  • Skirted design allows for effortless cleaning.
  • Dual flush modes saves water.
  • Easy installation as long as you’re strong enough to move the thing.
  • Very affordable.
  • Flushing system wets entire bowl, eliminating any cling-ons.

The bad:

  • A night light would have really set this unit apart.

The Woodbridge T-0737 integrated bidet makes a great case for integrated toilet bidets that aren’t actually one piece. A bidet made for a specific set of toilets really works well when purchased together, both in looks and in function.

The Best TOTO Bidets

TOTO has too many solid bidets to pick only one as the Best TOTO Bidet.

It’s true; these Japanese bidet-smiths have been crafting the finest bidets and toilets in all-the-land for countless centuries (well, since 1917 at least).

To help choose the best TOTO bidet for you, we’ll look at the best of what TOTO has to offer in three categories: best value, best overall, and a wildcard pick.

Let’s hit the floor running with the best value TOTO bidet: The TOTO C100

The TOTO C100 is a very handsome bidet.

I’ve gone on and on about how the TOTO C100 is just the best thing ever for those of us with a more frugal approach to bidet buying. 

Coming in at around $360 at most retailers, the TOTO C100 packs so much under the lid, it blows my mind every time I think about it.

Check out the current price of the TOTO C100 here.

With premium features that are usually reserved for the $500 and above club, TOTO has created one of the best value bidets. Period.

Those features I’m swooning over include both a deodorizer AND a warm-air dryer. In this price bracket, you can usually choose one, but rarely both.

Another feature I’m in love with and totally surprised to see at this price is a pre-misting function which will  coat the bowl with a mist of water as soon as you sit down.

This is especially useful for those of us with eco-friendly low-flow toilets. The lower water level can sometimes lead to some, erm, “evidence” being left behind on the inner bowl after a session. Not with TOTO’s pre-mist!

A short and sweet demonstration of TOTO’s premist function.

There’s also a soft rear cleansing feature which is a more diffuse, gentle spray that is not expected at this price point, but absolutely welcome.

In addition to these incredible top-tier features, you get everything else that one would expect from an electric bidet-seat. 

Heated seats, heated water, adjustable temperatures for both, adjustable nozzle position and water pressure as well as an oscillating function for the nozzle which wiggles it back and forth, cleaning a wider area. 

Most importantly, it also includes a gentle frontal cleanse for the ladies. If you’re a woman or live with one, this feature is required!

In the end, the TOTO C100 is sure to provide everything needed for someone looking to get their first bidet, or even someone looking to upgrade from an entry level. For something you’re going to use every day, you really can’t go wrong with the Best Value TOTO bidet, the TOTO C100.

Also, check out our review of the TOTO C100 for a more comprehensive analysis.

Next up we’ve got the best overall TOTO bidet: The TOTO S550e.

The contemporary version of the TOTO s550e washlet
The TOTO S550e and its remote.

I’ve gushed over this bidet more than any other, and for good reason.

The TOTO S550e ticks every box on the Best Bidet checklist.

It looks beautiful.

It packs in every conceivable feature.

It’s reliable and well constructed.

And for all that it does, is very reasonably priced.

Check the current price of the TOTO S550e here.

Auto opening/closing seat and lid, a warm-air dryer, deodorizer, instantaneously heated water, EWATER+ spray, a sleek remote and all the features you’d expect when it comes to the bidet itself. 

While you may be familiar with the features listed above, I’m sure more than a few of you may be left wondering “What the heck is EWATER+?”

Well, it isn’t a gimmick. EWATER+ uses some basic chemistry to keep your toilet clean. The TOTO S550e electrolyzes water, creating a mild acid that aids in cleaning your toilet bowl.

A quick peek at what TOTO’s EWATER+ is all about.

This solution is sprayed into your toilet bowl as a mist before and after each visit. In practice, it’s surprisingly effective in saving us from needing to use that nasty toilet brush.

These features and the high degree of quality control TOTO implements with this premium unit, and you’ve got an unparalleled luxury bidet.

To get a fuller idea of why this is the Best TOTO Bidet, check out our review of the TOTO S550e.

Wildcard time, baby! The TOTO C200 – The bidet I really want to write about that just doesn’t fit into a proper category.

The TOTO C200 with remote control operation.
The TOTO C200 with remote control operation.

Nearly edging out the TOTO C100 as the king of value, the TOTO C200 comes extremely close to dethroning (pun intended) the C100.

The C200 is about $50 more expensive than the C100.

Check out the current price of the TOTO C200 here.

What do you get for the added expense? 

Well, you get a very sexy remote, a pulsating water mode and more settings for water, air and seat temperature (5 vs. 3) .

The remote is wonderful for those with mobility limitations, as sometimes the control panel can be tough to reach. It also lends a more streamlined look to the toilet.

The pulsating water mode is extremely useful for those of us who suffer from the occasional bout of constipation. The gentle pulses are kind of like a massage and will relax the muscles, allowing you to “go” more easily.

If these features are calling out to you, consider the TOTO C200, and also take a peek at our more in-depth article The TOTO C100 vs. The TOTO C200.

KOHLER C-230 Bidet Seat Review.

A beauty queen with a few screws loose.

The KOHLER C-230 has been called the most lovely of bidet seats, but is it actually a good bidet?

If looks were all that mattered, then I’d forever be single and the KOHLER C-230 would be a required purchase for every bidet seeker.  Every time I look at this thing, I’m blown away by its sleek lines and the sexiest attached control panel I’ve seen (not to mention its sultry touchscreen remote).

[Read more…]

KOHLER Karing Integrated Toilet Review: The Good, The Bad, and the Bizarre

My goodness, that thing is a beaut.

Does this $3000 bidet/toilet combo value its striking looks over functionality?

Check the updated KOHLER Karing’s price HERE.

KOHLER have been making some of the most eye-catching toilets and bidets in recent memory – opting for pushing the envelope of futurism and art in their designs, but sometimes sacrificing performance in the process.

[Read more…]

Brondell Swash SE600 Bidet Seat Review

Pledge your vassalage to the new king of sub-$300 bidets.

Check the insanely low price of the Brondell SE600 here.

Oscillation, pulsation, a warm-air dryer and a deodorizer?!

All that in addition to the old stand-bys of heated seats and water – The Brondell Swash SE600 has it all.

Brondell is aggressively trying it’s best to enter the new class of “luxury-budget” bidets. Bidets bristling with features, yet unbelievably cheap for all they offer.

Other notable entries in this class are the wonderful Novita Slimline, the true king of budget friendly bidets (although more than $300), the TOTO C100, and the stalwart lil trooper, the  SmartBidet SB-110.

Big Features, Small Price

The Brondell Swash SE600 is, in my opinion outclassing almsot all other bidets in its price bracket of $200-300.

It does this by bringing features usually reserved for the $350+ clique.

What Brondell has done here is bring two features that were normally a “this or that” scenario in the land of budget bidets, and opted to include both while also not foregoing any of the cleaning functions. Including both the deodorizer and warm air dryer was a big surprise as a good number of bidets in this price range will sport a dryer, however the Brondell Swash SE600 is the first I’ve seen to also include a deodorizer.

Previously, the TOTO C100 was the lowest entry point someone could find both in.

There’s also a night light and a more surprisingly a pulsating cleanse mode which I’m a huge fan of and you just don’t often see in most budget bidets save for those by Bio Bidet who I’ve always admired for that.

Lookin’ Sleek There, Slick

Another area where Brondell consistently shines is their approach to bidet design.  Never too flashy and always appealing.  Brondell have stuck to a clean, modern motif for their bidets, most similar to TOTO who always keeps things muted and sensible.

The SE600 also packs a remote instead of an attached side panel design. This further slims the unit down to help provide that bathroom synergy that makes every excursion to the toilet a dream you don’t want to wake up from.

In the end, this bidet from Brondell is the best you’re going to find for less than $300. 

It heralds the beginning of the  market dominance by the cheaper, better bidets of tomorrow.

Check the insanely low price of the Brondell SE600 here.

TOTO Washlet G400 Integrated Toilet Review

This thing, I mean, jeeze.

Can you justify a nearly $2000 toilet?

As a matter of fact… you can.  Easily.

TOTO’s integrated toilet seat washlets are the pinnacle of poopin’.

They are an exercise in pure luxury.

The form-factor, features and technology coalesce  into an ultra-modern, eye-catching toilet that will become the centerpiece of any bathroom lucky enough to house one.

The G400 is one of TOTO’s “entry level” Integrated Toilets, but that doesn’t prevent it from being one of the best toilets ever made.

See what the TOTO G400’s current price is HERE.

Let’s dive into the features first and see what the G400 is packing under the hood.

So…. This is a toilet AND a bidet? What makes the toilet better than the trusty pooper trooper I’ve already got?

First, this is a TOTO toilet.

They make some of the best around and toilet technology has likely changed tremendously since you installed your last toilet.  Take a quick look at the video above to see what TOTO brings to the table.

First is the truly AWESOME Cyclone flush.

Have you ever wanted to feel like Poseidon (Pooseidon?)?

Have you ever had the desire to create a maelstrom of epic proportions, sucking sailors to the deep, dark depths below?

Now, you hold the power of the God of the Seas in your fingertips. With one gentle press on the sleek and sexy remotes (or simply by standing up – there’s an auto flush function!), you can choose and appropriate flush level for the business that you have just done. 1.28 or 0.9 gallons of water will come whooshing out from the recessed holes on either side of the toilet bowl, creating a hypnotizing vortex.

(It should be noted that the auto-flush function will determine how much water to use, either 1.28 gal or 0.9 gal.  It works quite well.)

Besides the trident brandishing euphoria that you’ll feel from creating a cyclone in your toilet, this cyclone also serves as an excellent bowl cleaner, sweeping any stubborn poo pirates down into the Marianas Trench of your toilet.

As the video above delightfully demonstrates with apples (floating poos), oranges (sinking poos), orange juice (pee) and applesauce (fiery diarrhea), all manner of toilet visits get effortlessly blasted into a watery grave.

TOTO also makes the bowl nearly impossible for anything to stick to.

Like the legendary WWE tag-team duo of Gary “Cyclone Psycho Flush” Stonewall and Johnny “Slippery Bowl” Prescott, the Cyclone flush operates best with its teammates: TOTO’s bowl-premist function and CeFiONtect, TOTO’s extremely slick ceramic glazing which serves to make the surface of the bowl much less porous, giving the poos nothing to hold onto.

Lastly, the design is sexy.

Yeah, I said it.  A toilet is sexy. Compared to a traditional toilet, it’s easy to see how someone could become infatuated with this amazing piece of  bathroom furniture.

The skirted toilet fits perfectly with the integrated washlet bidet.

Not only is the plumbing hidden within the “skirt” of the toilet, this approach to toilet design makes for much easier cleaning.

It’s got all your basic bidet functions.

As well as some lavish premium features.

This should be a given, but this toilet has everything one would expect from a great bidet seat.

This includes a heated seat, heated water and a self-cleaning, retracting nozzle that delivers a stream of water right up the ol’ wazoo.

There’s rear cleansing, rear “soft” cleansing and frontal cleanse.

The rear cleanse won’t be a surprise to anyone who has use a bidet before; it’s strong and effective, yet not a power washer and won’t leave your bum raw.

The soft rear cleanse covers a wider area with lower pressure – perfect for those cursed by hellish hemorrhoids.

The frontal cleanse is obviously just for ladies and uses larger, soft drops to keep things comfortable.

All cleaning functions can be combined with either an oscillating or pulsating spray option.

An easily replaceable deodorizer (available here) will whisk away all those foul odors commonly associated with going number 2.  Automatically turning on as soon as you plop you butt on the can, the deodorizer will soon become something you just can’t live without. It’s an activated carbon filter hidden behind a small air intake screen (which should be taken out and cleaned with water monthly).  The deodorizer itself should last around 6 months with average use.  And yes, you will definitely be made aware when it’s time to change it.

The auto raise/lower lid and seat add to the luxury.

Much like the TOTO S550 washlet, the G400 comes with a lid and seat that will automatically raise and lower when you draw near or walk away.

It’s hard to convey just how COOL this feature is.  It’s comparable to getting an OLED TV after years of traditional LED or LCD displays.

You just can’t go back.

And that’s kinda the lasting impression of this toilet as a whole. You just can’t go back to a regular one after using this.

The elegant design makes other toilets seem archaic, ancient and obsolete; more suited to a display in a preserved mid 18th century home in Colonial Williamsburg than in a modern bathroom.

The features (both bidet and the toilet itself)put other toilets to shame, and further solidify it as something you just can’t come back from.







TOTO S350/S550 Review

To our readers: The TOTO S350 is being discontinued shortly and will be replaced with the TOTO S550.  Both bidets come with all the same features, although the S550 has had a redesign (which I love) of both the washlet and the remote.  There have also been some slight changes under the hood, which I’ll get to later in the review.   As far as features go, however, you can consider this review applicable to both bidet models.

The King of Bidets?  Bow to the TOTO S550.

TOTO know a thing or two about making bidet toilet seats.  They coined the term “washlet” and were one of the first companies to start making electronic bidet seats which allow any toilet to evolve into a wondrous, ass-polishing throne.

The TOTO S550 is TOTO’s newest and most feature-packed bidet seat.

Having been in the bidet scene since its inception, TOTO have been steadily reworking their bidets to continually be at the forefront of bidet technology and trends.

Before we get into anything else, let’s take a peek a what’s going to immediately jump out as one of the more unique features of the S550: its Ewater+.

See up-to-the-minute pricing HERE.

What is Ewater+ and how does it set the S550 apart from other bidet seats?

Ewater+ is electrolyzed water which acts as a very effective cleaning and disinfecting solution.  According to Wikipedia, electrolyzed water is water which has had an electric current run through it.  Doing this produces a solution of hypochlorous acid and sodium hydroxide, which is apparently great at cleaning poo from toilet bowls.

The TOTO S550 will spray the bowl with a mist of Ewater+ as soon as you sit down as well as once you get up.  In practice, this keeps your bowl lookin cool, clean, and absent of little poop dudes.  Thank god for not having to reach for the dirty toilet bowl scrubber.

Also, the TOTO S550 will use this Ewater+ to clean the nozzle before and after each use.  Talk about clean!

Note: this solution is NOT used for cleaning YOU.  Just the toilet bowl and nozzle.

Next up on features unique to the TOTO S550 is its auto open and close lid.

This might not immediately seem like a feature that makes you think “Huh, I NEED that!” but after seeing it in action, I promise you, your mind is gonna change.

The auto-open and close of the TOTO S550 makes you feel like royalty as the seat invites you to take a seat, take a load off, drop a deuce, etc.

This is the last step in making the ancient human process of poopin’ totally hands-free.  No need to touch the seat, no need to wipe, no need to dry. 

Be confident that your phone most certainly WON’T be giving you pink-eye as long as the kids don’t get ahold of it.

Now, some have complained in the past about the S350’s auto open and close being a bit too sensitive and opening when someone simply walked past the bathroom.  The S550 has fixed this issue by making the sensor a little less sensitive and now opens only when you approach the front of your throne.

The TOTO S550 can be programmed to open the lid, or both the lid and seat automatically when you approach.  Also, if you’re a dude and only the lid opens and you don’t plan on taking a seat, a simple press on the remote can lift the seat as well.  This works in the opposite way as well, so the ladies can put just the seat down if both seat and lid are both left open.

The S550’s nightlight.  Not your typical glowing blue bowl.

The TOTO S550's nightlight emits a soft glow around your toilet.

Let there be light!

I should start this section by admitting that I love a glowing blue toilet bowl.  I don’t know what it is, maybe it’s the feeling of being a futuristic Blade Runner about to “eliminate some replicants” (poop) or what, but those glowing blues just GET ME.

Despite all that, I love the S550’s nightlight.  It’s miles more practical than a glowing blue bowl, as it softly illuminates the area around the toilet.

Ok, how about the actual bidet features?

Well, in addition to the above features which are quite unique to the TOTO S550, this washlet also packs top-of-the-line cleaning and comfort features.

The bidet feature itself is totally customizable in terms of pressure, position and temperature. 

It also has a pulsating mode, oscillating mode and the option to switch the feminine cleansing from a narrow to a wide spray.

Also, the S550 packs one of the most effective warm air dryers around.  Like we said earlier, this helps provide a totally hands-free experience.

The new, slim remote

All of these functions work as you’d imagine – they get you clean and transform your daily booty-duty into an almost too-relaxing spa-like visit.

Now, TOTO has also made sure to make the use of the S550 as comfortable as possible.

Heated seats, a deodorizer and instantaneously heated water (no bulky, slow-heating reservoir here) make the S550 so comfortable and satisfying to use, you’re never going to want to leave your throne.

How is this thing different from the S350?

The Contemporary lid sports a smoother, more contoured appearance, whereas the Classic style leaves a small lip.

The Contemporary lid sports a smoother, more contoured appearance, whereas the Classic style leaves a small lip.

Glad you asked!

Perhaps the most striking difference is in appearance.

TOTO have given the S550 the option to be purchased in either the classic or contemporary style.

I much prefer the contemporary style, although your mileage may vary.

Also changed was the remote.  TOTO has made a much slimmer, easier to hold design.

As mentioned earlier, the internal sensors controlling the auto-open and close feature have been tweaked as to not be as sensitive as they were in the S350.  This works quite well and cuts down on unintentional openings of the lid/seat.

In addition, TOTO have done what they can to make the unit more energy efficient and better performing.  The heated seats will heat up significantly faster than those on the S350 and use less power in doing so.

In the end, the TOTO S550 is the best bidet by the best bidet company in the world.  If you truly want the best of the best, this is it.

An exceptionally clean, autonomous, customized cleaning experience each and every time you use it. 

I’ll leave you with this: Imagine waking up, the clock reads an annoying 5:25.  You need to go.  You get out of your cozy bed and make the short trek to the bathroom.  The walls are softly illuminated by the TOTO’s ever vigilant nightlight as the room is still dark in its predawn mystery.  The lid lifts itself up as you get near and you can almost hear it whisper “come hither, let go of the past”.

As the lid completes its ascent skyward, you sense exaltation in the air (or maybe it’s the Ewater+ premist?), an electric feeling runs down your spine. “Ah, hello again” you think to yourself.

You gaze into the completely white bowl and catch a glimpse of your reflection in the softly rippling water as the premist gently runs down the sides of the bowl, bringing with it a promise of eternal sanitation.  You come to realize you are a living, sovereign entity which has agency and the ability to change the world around you.

Finally, you sit.  The seat is warm, comforting, bringing the same womb-like calm and security as sleeping in the fetal position covered in down blankets on a crisp autumn night.

True, by Spandau Ballet starts playing… or does it?  Is it all in your head?  Nevermind.

You poop.

The deodorizer has been faintly, tenderly whirring since you took your seat, banishing your regrets and insecurities into the void of the vast, endless universe.

Feeling a sense of enormous well-being, you reach for the remote, “My scepter” you think, giggling quietly to yourself.

“Initiate cleaning” you whisper to no one as you press User Profile #1.  The TOTO S550 doesn’t judge.

Warm water greets you.  The oscillation function starts, adding its own reserved mechanical melody to the symphony of dripping water and the deodorizer’s indefatigable hum.

As the process nears its conclusion, you think about everything you’ve done to get here.  Everthing we’ve done.  Humanity.  Life.  Existence.

In the 13.7 billion year history of the universe, you exist at this moment.  Less than a flash, shorter than an instant.  This slice of reality is yours and you inhabit it fully although you sometimes waver about its importance; but in this moment you’re sure it has meaning.

The dryer turns on and strongly but oh-so-lightly pulls you back into the bathroom.

The warm air, grandma’s flower garden in the last month of summer.

You feel clean.  Not only physically.  You’re clean, you’re clean.

You regain your feet and head back to the bedroom.  You look back, unsure why.  You hear the deodorizer start its lazy return to “off”, accompanied by the familiar and satisfying hydraulic squirt and gurgle of the Ewater+ misting the bowl; ever cleaning, ever protecting.

As you slide back into bed to get that useless hour more of sleep, you feel the sheets regaining their warmth.  It’s pleasant.  Your eyes close with purpose only to open an hour later.

Somehow you don’t feel tired like you knew you would.  You feel alive.