Christmas Gifting: Why a Bidet Makes Sense

Hearing Bing Crosby croon how he’s dreaming of a white Christmas, I am immediately sure the white he’s talking about isn’t toilet paper.

In fact, many music historians agree, it’s most likely the white porcelain throne and the missing bidet that he’s longing for with all his heart.


I know people get annoyed at society at large for dragging the Christmas decorations out earlier and  earlier, radio stations starting 24/7 broadcasts of the halcyon songs of Yuletides past and malls and shopping centers opting to marginalize – or skip over completely – Thanksgiving in favor of its more lucrative holiday competitor.

There is, however, no point too early to start considering your budget when it comes to gift giving.  Seriously, You Need a Budget.

How could a bidet possibly justify itself as a gift?  What will your friends, family or colleagues think upon shredding the festive wrapping paper to find a posterior polisher inside?

This article aims to answer those questions as well as to give some bidet suggestions for those tough to buy for.

Here are the reasons a bidet makes a perfect, unforgettable gift.


  • Yes, bidets have become extremely afforda

    The Luxe Bidet 320. Best bidet attachment out there and sure to warm the hearts and asses of any and all who receive one this holiday season.

    ble.  For those on a strict budget, you can snag a very inexpensive, effective and easy to install bidet attachment.

    • Bidet attachments that I would recommend range from $25~$80
    • For the lowest possible price, choose the Astor Bidet Attachment or the Chrider Bidet with self cleaning function.
    • For looks, take a gander at the GenieBidet or the Tushy.
    • And if you want the absolute best bidet attachment for your peeps, the Luxe Bidet Neo 320 is what you should be getting.  It packs hot and cold water, a lovely lever control as well as feminine and rear cleansing options.

Check our ever growing list of bidet attachment reviews HERE!  Includes all but the Chrider Bidet, which we’re currently working on.

  • For those with a bit more leeway when it comes to your gifting budget, an entry level electric bidet will completely blow your recipients’ minds.  
    • For the absolute most inexpensive yet badass electric bidet, pick up the SmartBidet SB-1000 which includes a remote.
    • Looks-wise, the Novita Slimline is so sexy, you might get suspicious if someone takes a little extra time to use it….
    • The best entry level bidet seat is the TOTO C100  It has everything you’d want in a bidet seat…..AND MORE.  Really, check it out.

The recipient will actually use this thing!

Yes, we all know there’s nothing better than giving a gift that actually gets used and is appreciated.  From food and alcohol (seriously, just get me some whisky or beef jerky and I’ll love you forever) to external hard-drives and TVs – useful gifts rule.

You will feel so absolutely giddy hearing your giftees talk about how freaking astonishing using their new gift has been.  While you might not like all the details and information about their usage that they give you, just grin and bear it, as you can rest easy knowing you’ve changed a life or two.

Bidets are not only useful, they’re an investment.  The savings in toilet paper is fantastic as are the savings in time and aggravation.  Gone are experiences like this:

Also, as an added bonus, offer your hand at installation (give them time to make sure their toilet is clean first, don’t want to embarrass anyone), especially if the person you’re giving it to is a chronic procrastinator or isn’t confident in their plumbing ability.

It’s unique!

This probably should have been first on the list, but jeez-louise, who would ever predict a bidet to be inside the lovely, wrapped box?

The look on the face of your loved-one might be worth the price of admission alone!

Sure, they may seem shocked at first, but rest assured, as you go on to explain the benefits of a bidet and once they start imagining themselves using it – it’s game over, they’re going to be infatuated already.

People love upgrades, especially to their home.  The bidet is a perfect way for someone you hold dear to do that.

A bidet is more than an ass-sprayer, it’s a way to say “I love you”. <3