Kohler K-5401 Veil Smart Toilet – The Whole Story


My favorite smart toilet by Kohler. What makes the K-5401 Veil smart toilet worth it?

When speaking of the Kohler K-5401 Veil, the first thing that will strike anyone is undoubtedly its look.

I mean, come on.

That’s a toilet that’s going to make your eye’s pop out, tongue loll out and a few involuntary AWOOOOGAs escape your lips.

Check the price of the Kohler Veil here.

Modern, sleek, sexy and clean, this high-end smart toilet checks all the right boxes when it comes to bringing your bathroom into the 21st century.

Much of this can be attributed to its tankless design – something we’ve seen more and more of in the last few years in both bidets and integrated toilets.

Essentially, the premium Kohler K-5401 draws the water directly from your water line and heats it instantly without the need to hold and heat it in a tank. The advantage of doing this?

There’s no risk of using all the tank’s heated water reserves, so you get unlimited warm water.

Gimme the features!

The next best thing about this magnificent porcelain monolith is the hefty features list.

The Kohler Veil packs a serious wallop when it flexes its feature list. Let’s see the rundown:

“Combining a stainless steel wand with both UV light and a spritz of electrolyzed water results in an unparalleled degree of cleanliness. “

  • Tankless, inline and instantaneous water heating allows for the minimalist look
  • .8 or 1.28 gallon flush options
  • Wand made of stainless steel for ultimate hygiene
  • UV and electrolyzed water system cleans wand thoroughly after each use
  • Both frontal and rear wash
  • Oscillating and pulsating cleanses as well as the ability to adjust the shape of the spray
  • Warm air dryer completely eliminates need for toilet paper
  • Deodorizer whisks away “the stank”
  • Auto raise and lower lid keeps your hands off the toilet
  • LED remote

To me, the most impressive features on the list work in concert to promote hygiene.
Combining a stainless steel wand with both UV light and a spritz of electrolyzed water results in an unparalleled degree of cleanliness. You could probably unscrew that sucker and use it as a straw (don’t try this, please).

All this paired with easy installation and looks that are sure to dazzle any beautiful-bathroom enthusiast make the Kohler an easy recommend.

Woodbridge T-0737 Integrated Bidet Toilet Review

Pretty, aint it?

An integrated bidet toilet for less than $1000? Get out of here, man!

See the current price here.

It’s true, the Woodbridge T-0737 is a wonderful integrated bidet toilet and yes, it really costs less than $1000.

The Woodbridge T-0737 isn’t a true integrated bidet in the purest sense of the word, as the toilet and bidet (model BDI-01)are two separate pieces that are sold individually and can be paired with other pieces.

That being said, these two can be had as a package deal and fit so well together that they may as well work as an integrated unit.

Why buy the Woodbridge T-0737 integrated bidet?

The features:

  • Beautiful modern design that makes for easy cleaning.
  • 1.0/1.6 gallon flush options help save water.
  • The BDI-01 bidet kicks serious booty and is made for Woodbridge one-piece toilets.
  • Front and rear wash modes.
  • Stainless steel, self-cleaning nozzle
  • Heated seats and instantaneous and unlimited warm water.
  • Warm air dryer.
  • Oscillating and pulsating functions.
  • Filtered water.
  • Wireless remote.

The good:

  • Beautiful design of both toilet and bidet.
  • Bidet fits the toilet perfectly.
  • Bidet feels solid on the toilet.
  • Skirted design allows for effortless cleaning.
  • Dual flush modes saves water.
  • Easy installation as long as you’re strong enough to move the thing.
  • Very affordable.
  • Flushing system wets entire bowl, eliminating any cling-ons.

The bad:

  • A night light would have really set this unit apart.

The Woodbridge T-0737 integrated bidet makes a great case for integrated toilet bidets that aren’t actually one piece. A bidet made for a specific set of toilets really works well when purchased together, both in looks and in function.

The Best TOTO Bidets

TOTO has too many solid bidets to pick only one as the Best TOTO Bidet.

It’s true; these Japanese bidet-smiths have been crafting the finest bidets and toilets in all-the-land for countless centuries (well, since 1917 at least).

To help choose the best TOTO bidet for you, we’ll look at the best of what TOTO has to offer in three categories: best value, best overall, and a wildcard pick.


Let’s hit the floor running with the best value TOTO bidet: The TOTO C100

The TOTO C100 is a very handsome bidet.

I’ve gone on and on about how the TOTO C100 is just the best thing ever for those of us with a more frugal approach to bidet buying. 

Coming in at around $360 at most retailers, the TOTO C100 packs so much under the lid, it blows my mind every time I think about it.

Check out the current price of the TOTO C100 here.

With premium features that are usually reserved for the $500 and above club, TOTO has created one of the best value bidets. Period.

Those features I’m swooning over include both a deodorizer AND a warm-air dryer. In this price bracket, you can usually choose one, but rarely both.

Another feature I’m in love with and totally surprised to see at this price is a pre-misting function which will  coat the bowl with a mist of water as soon as you sit down.

This is especially useful for those of us with eco-friendly low-flow toilets. The lower water level can sometimes lead to some, erm, “evidence” being left behind on the inner bowl after a session. Not with TOTO’s pre-mist!

A short and sweet demonstration of TOTO’s premist function.

There’s also a soft rear cleansing feature which is a more diffuse, gentle spray that is not expected at this price point, but absolutely welcome.

In addition to these incredible top-tier features, you get everything else that one would expect from an electric bidet-seat. 

Heated seats, heated water, adjustable temperatures for both, adjustable nozzle position and water pressure as well as an oscillating function for the nozzle which wiggles it back and forth, cleaning a wider area. 

Most importantly, it also includes a gentle frontal cleanse for the ladies. If you’re a woman or live with one, this feature is required!

In the end, the TOTO C100 is sure to provide everything needed for someone looking to get their first bidet, or even someone looking to upgrade from an entry level. For something you’re going to use every day, you really can’t go wrong with the Best Value TOTO bidet, the TOTO C100.

Also, check out our review of the TOTO C100 for a more comprehensive analysis.


Next up we’ve got the best overall TOTO bidet: The TOTO S550e.

The contemporary version of the TOTO s550e washlet
The TOTO S550e and its remote.
*drool*

I’ve gushed over this bidet more than any other, and for good reason.

The TOTO S550e ticks every box on the Best Bidet checklist.

It looks beautiful.

It packs in every conceivable feature.

It’s reliable and well constructed.

And for all that it does, is very reasonably priced.

Check the current price of the TOTO S550e here.

Auto opening/closing seat and lid, a warm-air dryer, deodorizer, instantaneously heated water, EWATER+ spray, a sleek remote and all the features you’d expect when it comes to the bidet itself. 

While you may be familiar with the features listed above, I’m sure more than a few of you may be left wondering “What the heck is EWATER+?”

Well, it isn’t a gimmick. EWATER+ uses some basic chemistry to keep your toilet clean. The TOTO S550e electrolyzes water, creating a mild acid that aids in cleaning your toilet bowl.

A quick peek at what TOTO’s EWATER+ is all about.

This solution is sprayed into your toilet bowl as a mist before and after each visit. In practice, it’s surprisingly effective in saving us from needing to use that nasty toilet brush.

These features and the high degree of quality control TOTO implements with this premium unit, and you’ve got an unparalleled luxury bidet.

To get a fuller idea of why this is the Best TOTO Bidet, check out our review of the TOTO S550e.


Wildcard time, baby! The TOTO C200 – The bidet I really want to write about that just doesn’t fit into a proper category.

The TOTO C200 with remote control operation.
The TOTO C200 with remote control operation.

Nearly edging out the TOTO C100 as the king of value, the TOTO C200 comes extremely close to dethroning (pun intended) the C100.

The C200 is about $50 more expensive than the C100.

Check out the current price of the TOTO C200 here.

What do you get for the added expense? 

Well, you get a very sexy remote, a pulsating water mode and more settings for water, air and seat temperature (5 vs. 3) .

The remote is wonderful for those with mobility limitations, as sometimes the control panel can be tough to reach. It also lends a more streamlined look to the toilet.

The pulsating water mode is extremely useful for those of us who suffer from the occasional bout of constipation. The gentle pulses are kind of like a massage and will relax the muscles, allowing you to “go” more easily.

If these features are calling out to you, consider the TOTO C200, and also take a peek at our more in-depth article The TOTO C100 vs. The TOTO C200.

KOHLER Karing Integrated Toilet Review: The Good, The Bad, and the Bizarre

My goodness, that thing is a beaut.

Does this $3000 bidet/toilet combo value its striking looks over functionality?

Check the updated KOHLER Karing’s price HERE.

KOHLER have been making some of the most eye-catching toilets and bidets in recent memory – opting for pushing the envelope of futurism and art in their designs, but sometimes sacrificing performance in the process.

[Read more…]

TOTO Washlet G400 Integrated Toilet Review

This thing, I mean, jeeze.

Can you justify a nearly $2000 toilet?

As a matter of fact… you can.  Easily.

TOTO’s integrated toilet seat washlets are the pinnacle of poopin’.

They are an exercise in pure luxury.

The form-factor, features and technology coalesce  into an ultra-modern, eye-catching toilet that will become the centerpiece of any bathroom lucky enough to house one.

The G400 is one of TOTO’s “entry level” Integrated Toilets, but that doesn’t prevent it from being one of the best toilets ever made.

See what the TOTO G400’s current price is HERE.

Let’s dive into the features first and see what the G400 is packing under the hood.

So…. This is a toilet AND a bidet? What makes the toilet better than the trusty pooper trooper I’ve already got?

First, this is a TOTO toilet.

They make some of the best around and toilet technology has likely changed tremendously since you installed your last toilet.  Take a quick look at the video above to see what TOTO brings to the table.


First is the truly AWESOME Cyclone flush.

Have you ever wanted to feel like Poseidon (Pooseidon?)?

Have you ever had the desire to create a maelstrom of epic proportions, sucking sailors to the deep, dark depths below?

Now, you hold the power of the God of the Seas in your fingertips. With one gentle press on the sleek and sexy remotes (or simply by standing up – there’s an auto flush function!), you can choose and appropriate flush level for the business that you have just done. 1.28 or 0.9 gallons of water will come whooshing out from the recessed holes on either side of the toilet bowl, creating a hypnotizing vortex.

(It should be noted that the auto-flush function will determine how much water to use, either 1.28 gal or 0.9 gal.  It works quite well.)

Besides the trident brandishing euphoria that you’ll feel from creating a cyclone in your toilet, this cyclone also serves as an excellent bowl cleaner, sweeping any stubborn poo pirates down into the Marianas Trench of your toilet.

As the video above delightfully demonstrates with apples (floating poos), oranges (sinking poos), orange juice (pee) and applesauce (fiery diarrhea), all manner of toilet visits get effortlessly blasted into a watery grave.

TOTO also makes the bowl nearly impossible for anything to stick to.

Like the legendary WWE tag-team duo of Gary “Cyclone Psycho Flush” Stonewall and Johnny “Slippery Bowl” Prescott, the Cyclone flush operates best with its teammates: TOTO’s bowl-premist function and CeFiONtect, TOTO’s extremely slick ceramic glazing which serves to make the surface of the bowl much less porous, giving the poos nothing to hold onto.

Lastly, the design is sexy.

Yeah, I said it.  A toilet is sexy. Compared to a traditional toilet, it’s easy to see how someone could become infatuated with this amazing piece of  bathroom furniture.

The skirted toilet fits perfectly with the integrated washlet bidet.

Not only is the plumbing hidden within the “skirt” of the toilet, this approach to toilet design makes for much easier cleaning.


It’s got all your basic bidet functions.

As well as some lavish premium features.

This should be a given, but this toilet has everything one would expect from a great bidet seat.

This includes a heated seat, heated water and a self-cleaning, retracting nozzle that delivers a stream of water right up the ol’ wazoo.

There’s rear cleansing, rear “soft” cleansing and frontal cleanse.

The rear cleanse won’t be a surprise to anyone who has use a bidet before; it’s strong and effective, yet not a power washer and won’t leave your bum raw.

The soft rear cleanse covers a wider area with lower pressure – perfect for those cursed by hellish hemorrhoids.

The frontal cleanse is obviously just for ladies and uses larger, soft drops to keep things comfortable.

All cleaning functions can be combined with either an oscillating or pulsating spray option.

An easily replaceable deodorizer (available here) will whisk away all those foul odors commonly associated with going number 2.  Automatically turning on as soon as you plop you butt on the can, the deodorizer will soon become something you just can’t live without. It’s an activated carbon filter hidden behind a small air intake screen (which should be taken out and cleaned with water monthly).  The deodorizer itself should last around 6 months with average use.  And yes, you will definitely be made aware when it’s time to change it.

The auto raise/lower lid and seat add to the luxury.

Much like the TOTO S550 washlet, the G400 comes with a lid and seat that will automatically raise and lower when you draw near or walk away.

It’s hard to convey just how COOL this feature is.  It’s comparable to getting an OLED TV after years of traditional LED or LCD displays.

You just can’t go back.


And that’s kinda the lasting impression of this toilet as a whole. You just can’t go back to a regular one after using this.

The elegant design makes other toilets seem archaic, ancient and obsolete; more suited to a display in a preserved mid 18th century home in Colonial Williamsburg than in a modern bathroom.

The features (both bidet and the toilet itself)put other toilets to shame, and further solidify it as something you just can’t come back from.

 

 

 

 

 

 

TOTO S350/S550 Review

To our readers: The TOTO S350 is being discontinued shortly and will be replaced with the TOTO S550.  Both bidets come with all the same features, although the S550 has had a redesign (which I love) of both the washlet and the remote.  There have also been some slight changes under the hood, which I’ll get to later in the review.   As far as features go, however, you can consider this review applicable to both bidet models.

The King of Bidets?  Bow to the TOTO S550.

TOTO know a thing or two about making bidet toilet seats.  They coined the term “washlet” and were one of the first companies to start making electronic bidet seats which allow any toilet to evolve into a wondrous, ass-polishing throne.

The TOTO S550 is TOTO’s newest and most feature-packed bidet seat.

Having been in the bidet scene since its inception, TOTO have been steadily reworking their bidets to continually be at the forefront of bidet technology and trends.

Before we get into anything else, let’s take a peek a what’s going to immediately jump out as one of the more unique features of the S550: its Ewater+.

See up-to-the-minute pricing HERE.


What is Ewater+ and how does it set the S550 apart from other bidet seats?

Ewater+ is electrolyzed water which acts as a very effective cleaning and disinfecting solution.  According to Wikipedia, electrolyzed water is water which has had an electric current run through it.  Doing this produces a solution of hypochlorous acid and sodium hydroxide, which is apparently great at cleaning poo from toilet bowls.

The TOTO S550 will spray the bowl with a mist of Ewater+ as soon as you sit down as well as once you get up.  In practice, this keeps your bowl lookin cool, clean, and absent of little poop dudes.  Thank god for not having to reach for the dirty toilet bowl scrubber.

Also, the TOTO S550 will use this Ewater+ to clean the nozzle before and after each use.  Talk about clean!

Note: this solution is NOT used for cleaning YOU.  Just the toilet bowl and nozzle.


Next up on features unique to the TOTO S550 is its auto open and close lid.

This might not immediately seem like a feature that makes you think “Huh, I NEED that!” but after seeing it in action, I promise you, your mind is gonna change.

The auto-open and close of the TOTO S550 makes you feel like royalty as the seat invites you to take a seat, take a load off, drop a deuce, etc.

This is the last step in making the ancient human process of poopin’ totally hands-free.  No need to touch the seat, no need to wipe, no need to dry. 

Be confident that your phone most certainly WON’T be giving you pink-eye as long as the kids don’t get ahold of it.

Now, some have complained in the past about the S350’s auto open and close being a bit too sensitive and opening when someone simply walked past the bathroom.  The S550 has fixed this issue by making the sensor a little less sensitive and now opens only when you approach the front of your throne.

The TOTO S550 can be programmed to open the lid, or both the lid and seat automatically when you approach.  Also, if you’re a dude and only the lid opens and you don’t plan on taking a seat, a simple press on the remote can lift the seat as well.  This works in the opposite way as well, so the ladies can put just the seat down if both seat and lid are both left open.


The S550’s nightlight.  Not your typical glowing blue bowl.

The TOTO S550's nightlight emits a soft glow around your toilet.

Let there be light!

I should start this section by admitting that I love a glowing blue toilet bowl.  I don’t know what it is, maybe it’s the feeling of being a futuristic Blade Runner about to “eliminate some replicants” (poop) or what, but those glowing blues just GET ME.

Despite all that, I love the S550’s nightlight.  It’s miles more practical than a glowing blue bowl, as it softly illuminates the area around the toilet.


Ok, how about the actual bidet features?

Well, in addition to the above features which are quite unique to the TOTO S550, this washlet also packs top-of-the-line cleaning and comfort features.

The bidet feature itself is totally customizable in terms of pressure, position and temperature. 

It also has a pulsating mode, oscillating mode and the option to switch the feminine cleansing from a narrow to a wide spray.

Also, the S550 packs one of the most effective warm air dryers around.  Like we said earlier, this helps provide a totally hands-free experience.

The new, slim remote

All of these functions work as you’d imagine – they get you clean and transform your daily booty-duty into an almost too-relaxing spa-like visit.

Now, TOTO has also made sure to make the use of the S550 as comfortable as possible.

Heated seats, a deodorizer and instantaneously heated water (no bulky, slow-heating reservoir here) make the S550 so comfortable and satisfying to use, you’re never going to want to leave your throne.


How is this thing different from the S350?

The Contemporary lid sports a smoother, more contoured appearance, whereas the Classic style leaves a small lip.

The Contemporary lid sports a smoother, more contoured appearance, whereas the Classic style leaves a small lip.

Glad you asked!

Perhaps the most striking difference is in appearance.

TOTO have given the S550 the option to be purchased in either the classic or contemporary style.

I much prefer the contemporary style, although your mileage may vary.

Also changed was the remote.  TOTO has made a much slimmer, easier to hold design.

As mentioned earlier, the internal sensors controlling the auto-open and close feature have been tweaked as to not be as sensitive as they were in the S350.  This works quite well and cuts down on unintentional openings of the lid/seat.

In addition, TOTO have done what they can to make the unit more energy efficient and better performing.  The heated seats will heat up significantly faster than those on the S350 and use less power in doing so.


In the end, the TOTO S550 is the best bidet by the best bidet company in the world.  If you truly want the best of the best, this is it.

An exceptionally clean, autonomous, customized cleaning experience each and every time you use it. 

I’ll leave you with this: Imagine waking up, the clock reads an annoying 5:25.  You need to go.  You get out of your cozy bed and make the short trek to the bathroom.  The walls are softly illuminated by the TOTO’s ever vigilant nightlight as the room is still dark in its predawn mystery.  The lid lifts itself up as you get near and you can almost hear it whisper “come hither, let go of the past”.

As the lid completes its ascent skyward, you sense exaltation in the air (or maybe it’s the Ewater+ premist?), an electric feeling runs down your spine. “Ah, hello again” you think to yourself.

You gaze into the completely white bowl and catch a glimpse of your reflection in the softly rippling water as the premist gently runs down the sides of the bowl, bringing with it a promise of eternal sanitation.  You come to realize you are a living, sovereign entity which has agency and the ability to change the world around you.

Finally, you sit.  The seat is warm, comforting, bringing the same womb-like calm and security as sleeping in the fetal position covered in down blankets on a crisp autumn night.

True, by Spandau Ballet starts playing… or does it?  Is it all in your head?  Nevermind.

You poop.

The deodorizer has been faintly, tenderly whirring since you took your seat, banishing your regrets and insecurities into the void of the vast, endless universe.

Feeling a sense of enormous well-being, you reach for the remote, “My scepter” you think, giggling quietly to yourself.

“Initiate cleaning” you whisper to no one as you press User Profile #1.  The TOTO S550 doesn’t judge.

Warm water greets you.  The oscillation function starts, adding its own reserved mechanical melody to the symphony of dripping water and the deodorizer’s indefatigable hum.

As the process nears its conclusion, you think about everything you’ve done to get here.  Everthing we’ve done.  Humanity.  Life.  Existence.

In the 13.7 billion year history of the universe, you exist at this moment.  Less than a flash, shorter than an instant.  This slice of reality is yours and you inhabit it fully although you sometimes waver about its importance; but in this moment you’re sure it has meaning.

The dryer turns on and strongly but oh-so-lightly pulls you back into the bathroom.

The warm air, grandma’s flower garden in the last month of summer.

You feel clean.  Not only physically.  You’re clean, you’re clean.

You regain your feet and head back to the bedroom.  You look back, unsure why.  You hear the deodorizer start its lazy return to “off”, accompanied by the familiar and satisfying hydraulic squirt and gurgle of the Ewater+ misting the bowl; ever cleaning, ever protecting.

As you slide back into bed to get that useless hour more of sleep, you feel the sheets regaining their warmth.  It’s pleasant.  Your eyes close with purpose only to open an hour later.

Somehow you don’t feel tired like you knew you would.  You feel alive.

TOTO C200 Review

 

How does the TOTO C100’s younger, more tech savvy brother -the TOTO C200- compare?

See up to the minute pricing on the C200 HERE.

The TOTO C200 has a lot in common with TOTO’s king-of-entry-level-bidets, the TOTO C100.

How similar ARE they?

The features the C200 shares with the C100 are exactly what makes the C100 (and therefore the C200) so great.  Features you would never expect in a budget-friendly bidet:

It has an amazing pre-mist function which makes your bowl a slip n slide for turds.  No more scraping off lil brownies from the sides of your toilet bowl.

There’s a deodorizer – erases all odorous evidence which makes it perfect for taking a stealthy dump while company is over.

The warm-air dryer allows you to have a totally hands-free experience.  That’s right, hands-free.  Sit down, do your business, push a button on the remote to clean, push another to dry, voila – you’re done.  No reaching down into the shadow realm to poke around a poopy hole above a fetid swamp of poopy water.  So much poop being avoided here, it’s really marvelous and my favorite thing about high-end bidets (especially those with budget friendly prices, like the C100/C200).

And of course, the standard bidet wash and the feminine frontal wash with the option to change the stream from wide to narrow, both with adjustable nozzle positions.

The TOTO C200 vs C100

So, am I paying more for the same bidet just with a remote?

Nearly!  But, not quite.

TOTO would (IMHO) be justified to simply pump out the same bidet, change the control panel for a remote and charge more.  Other companies have done it (and with a much higher $$$ premium for the simple luxury of having a remote), but TOTO has also added a pulsating/massage cleansing mode AND two custom user profiles to retain the perfect set of parameters for the ultimate booty cleanse every time.

TOTO made the C200 sleeker, sexier, and also more feature-packed than the C100, all for around $60 more than the C100. 

Some, ahem, OTHER companies have ONLY added a remote, yet upped the price by $100.

I give serious props to TOTO for their ability to produce a seriously well-built and endlessly functional bidet without giving into the easy temptation to gouge the customer’s wallet.

If you’re looking for the best budget-friendly bidet seat (or washlet, as TOTO calls them) with a remote, look no further than the TOTO C200, the king of sensible washlet upgrades.

 

The Best Brondell Bidets, 2018

Oh, Brondell.  I’d sing an ode to your bidets if I weren’t a bidet disguised as a human who writes about bidets and therefore unable to sing.

Brondell has been in the competitive bathroom scene since 2003 and since then has become one of the most well-know bidet and toilet makers.

Let’s take a lil peek at their best bidets so far in 2018.


Brondell Swash 1400

See up to the minute pricing HERE.

The Brondell Swash 1400 washlet bidet seat comes in two colors, white and biscuit.

Biscuit on the left, white on the right.

Brondell’s top of the line bidet still ranks as its best.  With one of the most beautiful shapes and ominous yet wise looking sensor areas, the Brondell Swash 1400 is one of the best looking bidets around.

In fact, I love this bidet so much, they used to call me Big Swash Dude or BROdell back in high school.

The reasons I love the Swash 1400 bidet are two-fold.


First, and most obviously, are the features

The Brondell Swash 1400 has dual steel nozzles and a warm air dryer which can both be seen here.

The Brondell Swash 1400 has dual steel nozzles and a warm air dryer which can both be seen here.

There are all the features one could expect of a high-end bidet and even a few more.

For example, the Brondell Swash 1400 lets you control the width of the spray – meaning that you can choose from a concentrated, narrow spray to a wide, softer spray.

There is also a little dash of sci-fi in the nozzle.  It is sterilized by silver nano-particles which literally rip bacteria and viruses apart.  Intense.  Metal.

The dryer is quite effective, as is the deodorizer – which, thank God, can be replaced easily, as needed.

Oh!  And I almost forgot to mention the two programmable user settings.

The Swash 1400 certainly makes it pretty darn easy to clean yer ass.


The second reason the Swash 1400 bidet reigns supreme is its looks.

I'm a sucker for night lights and the Brondell Swash 1400 has a glorious one.

I’m a sucker for night lights and the Brondell Swash 1400 has a glorious one.

While it isn’t doing anything necessarily mind-blowing/avant garde (nobody is asking for an avant garde bidet…yet), it checks all the right boxes as far as style goes.

Resembling other bidets in Brondell’s lineup, the Swash 1400 has sexy lines, and a hinge that frames the area which houses the guts that make this bidet tick.

The shape of the seat conforms nicely to most any batoot, and the hidden rear pocket stows away the unsightly power cables and water lines, leading to a sleek, minimal look.

Speaking of sleek and minimal, the Swash 1400 is thin, due mostly to its use of a ceramic core heating system which instantly heats water on-demand and forgoes the need for a large water reservoir system.

When push comes to shove, the Brondell Swash 1400 is the best bidet easily available in the USA.  I’m a huge fan.



Next up is actually a very similar bidet, but in the neighborhood of $200 less.

Brondell Swash 1000

See up to the minute pricing HERE.

The Brondell Swash 1000 is quite similar to the Brondell Swash 1400.  They both share a ceramic core instant water heating system, oscillating dual nozzles with silver nanoparticle sterilization, a warm air dryer and a deodorizer.

If these features sound good enough, then, hey, my job is done and you can just go ahead and buy that butt buffer.

If you need a little more convincing, read on.


The features on the Brondell Swash 1000 toss it right up into the “super ultra luxury bidet” category.

As mentioned earlier, the Swash 1000 has instantaneously heated water, a warm air dryer, two stainless steel nozzles which tear bacteria and viruses apart with badass silver nanoparticles, and a deodorizer.

What The Swash 1000 lacks versus the Swash 1400 is either going to make you triumphantly shout out: “Heh!  I never needed all those bells and whistles anyway.  All I want is a clean booty.” OR “Ehhhh, well….. I love night lights, hidden cables, user profiles and replaceable deodorizers.”

Brondell Swash 1000 versus Brondell Swash 1400

The Brondell Swash 1000 on the left and the Brondell Swash 1400 on the right.

Maybe I should have used a spoiler tag up there, but in short, the main differences between the Swash 1000 and the Swash 1400 come down to aesthetic changes.

  • The Swash 1000 doesn’t have a hidden compartment to clean up the look of the water and power connections.
  • It also doesn’t have a night light (personally, something I gotta have, but I know many couldn’t care less).
  • There have also been some cosmetic changes to the Swash 1400 that aren’t seen on the Swash 1000, such as contouring the base of the unit to better blend in with the toilet, creating a more seamless look.

Honestly, though, I love the look of both.


Earlier, it may have sounded like I was bashing the Swash 1000, but that’s far from the case (wouldn’t be on this list, otherwise)

In reality, many of the things it lacks ARE just extras and don’t actually directly contribute to a bidets prime directive: clean asses.

The features of the Brondell Swash 1000 are completely focused on booty blasting, posterior polishing, rear refreshing cleanliness.

This makes it a wonderful buy for those looking for a nice starter bidet that accomplishes its main goal in a satisfying and effective manner.

The Best of Bio Bidet Bidets.

Bio Bidet has been hard at work.

Going from a minor blip on the bidet radar to a major player in just a few short years, Bio Bidet has rightfully garnered a die-hard following – much in part to their endless innovation.

What are Bio Bidet’s best bidets?


A8 Serenity

See up to the minute price here.

Bio Bidet’s newest bidet focuses on pleasing any posterior.

Adjust everything – Bio Bidet have really begun to differentiate themselves as the bidet maker for people who dig customization.

The A8 Serenity has all the features you’d expect of a high-end unit, such as adjustable nozzle positions, adjustable heating settings for the water, seat, and dryer as well as an eco-mode.

Some of its more premium features are a dual sided remote (which is actually pretty damn sexy, props to Bio Bidet), a stainless steel nozzle for added germ fighting capabilities and customization user profiles, so will never need to worry about that lil stream of water not being zeroed-in on Mt. Poopamanjaro.

What’s surprising about this bidet is the level of control the user has over features that haven’t previously been adjustable in other models.

The first is the dryer.  Not only are you able to change the temperature of the air, but you’re also able to adjust the power of the fans.

Next up is the water aeration.

Never before have we seen a bidet that lets you toggle the aeration of the water.

While we generally prefer aeration to be on for a more comfortable spray, turning it off offers a bit more power for those ultra nasty turds that just don’t wanna leave your loving embrace.

You are also able to play around with a few other features such as adjusting the night light (which lights up the whole bowl and looks super cool) and the chimes on the remote (or even turn them off completely).

With all that said, the A8 Serenity is Bio Bidet’s best bidet seat for those who are looking for a  totally tailored cleaning ass-perience.


Next up is the Bio Bidet entry level, budget bidet.

The Bio Bidet Slim ONE

See up to the minute price here.

This bidet seat is the best cheap bidet seat out there.

Usually, we wouldn’t recommend anything below $250, as the components and features are, to put it plainly, shit.

However, Bio Bidet was able to create a bidet seat that has more than adequate features as well as high durability.

The Bio Bidet Slim ONE has:

a stainless steel nozzle

front and rear cleansing

pulsating cleanse mode

nozzle oscillation as well as adjustable nozzle position

child mode

turbo mode (for those who really want to live)

a heated seat with adjustable temperature

adjustable water temperature

a nozzle cleaning mode

a night light

and finally, an energy saving eco mode.

Yeah, that’s right.  That is the features list for a bidet that costs less than a family dinner at Ruth’s Chris.

For this price point, there is nothing else I could possibly expect from an electric bidet seat.  The Bio Bidet Slim ONE ticks all the boxes.

BioBidet BB1000 vs. BB2000. A closer look.

Ahhhh, BioBidet.

One of the top contenders in the fight to be recognized as the major player in the battle of the bidets.

Along with the likes of TOTO, Brondell, Novita and others, BioBidet is one of the most prominent manufacturers of bidets – both electric and mechanical – and consistently makes innovative, quality bidets.

Two bidets from BioBidet have left lots of people wondering which one provides the best value: the BB1000 and BB2000.  

See the current price for the BB1000 and BB2000.

Bottom Line Up Front

To save you a smidge of time, I’ll give you the verdict right off the bat:

The BB2000 is a clear winner in every category.  The looks, features and value provided are leagues ahead of the BB1000.

While some of the BB2000’s features aren’t revolutionary, the whole suite is simply a much better package than what you’d get with the BB1000.

Unless you’re truly strapped for cash and have a surprising fondness for the appearance of the BB1000, the BB2000 is definitely the way to go.

Read on to see for yourself how we’ve come to this conclusion.

Major Differences

To make the arduous task of selecting the proper poop-chute shiner a bit more bearable, we’ll start off with the major differences between these titans of tush cleaning.

The Look

The BB1000’s remote (top) looks like an outdated relic compared with the BB2000’s refined lines (bottom).

 

In my opinion, BioBidet have really missed the mark with the BB1000.

It has been compared to a “medical device fit for a retirement home” and honestly, I agree.

It’s big, bulky, sterile-looking (in a repulsive, hospital kinda way) and so far from sexy that giving it an Ed Hardy sleeveless T-shirt and slathering it in hair gel couldn’t make it look worse.

Even the remote for the BB2000 (you can choose either black  or white) looks sleeker and more modern.

The BB2000 however, while not a feast for the eyes, is much more pleasant to behold. 

With some nice curves and a slimmer profile due to its lack of a water heating reservoir, the BB2000 is a bidet seat fit for most toilets.

Instantaneous Heating

Besides the look (and majorly contributing it) of the two bidets, the second major difference between them is the BB2000’s instantaneous heating system versus the BB1000’s reservoir heating system.

When it comes to actually using these two systems, you probably won’t notice much of a difference.

The BB1000 has ample water to clean your rear – unless you expect multiple people to be using the seat in quick succession.  In that case, the latter users may get the shaft as whoever got in there first has most likely used a good deal of the warm water already.

The BB2000 doesn’t encounter this problem as its water is heated instantly and continuously.  Feel euphoric as infinite amounts of warm water caress your ass.

Stainless Steel Nozzle

The BB2000’s stainless steel nozzle is easier to clean and more hygienic.

The BB2000 has a stainless steel nozzle and the BB1000 does not.

In my opinion, a stainless steel nozzle is a feature that any bidet I’m going to buy should have.

Stainless steel is more durable, looks better, is easier to clean and is a more hostile environment for bacteria, viruses and fungi.

Hydro Flush

Cleaning from the inside out, BioBidet claims the BB2000 offers superior hygiene, although the jury is still out on if that’s entirely true.

The BB2000 has this feature, the BB1000 does not.  What it is refers to the way the nozzle of the BB2000 is cleaned by blasting water through the nozzle from the inside-out to more thoroughly sterilize it.

This is opposed to the way most other bidets simply run water over the outside of the nozzle to remove any nasty lil-bits that may have found their way onto the nozz.

Now, whether this is actually going to increase the cleanliness of your dump sessions is still up for debate as other bidets without this feature have been sufficiently cleaning asses for many many years without issue.

The bottom line on this feature is: if it makes you feel more comfortable knowing the inside of the nozzle can be cleaned at will, BioBidet’s Hydro Flush feature may be worth it for you.

Belted Nozzle Cleaning

The motorized nozzles on the BB2000 are able to move more precisely and more quickly than other bidet nozzles.

Basically, this means they can quickly shimmy in and out as the outside is being cleaned with water to more throughly remove anything on the outside of the nozzle.

The motor operated nozzle is also able to be more precisely adjusted than other nozzles, although how much this is going to affect your morning session is up for you to decide.

Most bidets have several positions for the wand/nozzle to allow for a customized fit for each user.  BioBidet’s motorized nozzle technology on the BB2000 allows for much smaller and more precise adjustments.

If you are unable to shimmy your rear a little bit to accommodate one of the BB1000’s preset nozzle positions, the infinitely adjustable BB2000 may be the bidet seat for you.

Night Light

Cool enough to impress any guest.

This is one of the coolest features of the BB2000.  Its cool, blue nightlight illuminates a small control panel on the side of the bidet for easy use even in the darkest, windowless bathrooms.

While it may not seem like a game-changer, a night light really makes your bathroom seem more modern as it is bathed in a calming blue light.

Not only is this useful for your late-night sessions, it’s probably the single most impressive feature for guests who haven’t experienced anything outside of a vanilla toilet.

 

 

At the end of the day, it should be obvious to most that the BB2000 is ultimately the better bidet.

As a bidet is a serious investment of money, you really shouldn’t settle for something unless you’re completely satisfied with the features provided.

If all you want is a bum-gun, there are plenty of other, cheaper bidets that fit the bill. Head on over to our reviews of the TOTO C100 and the Novita Slimline for our favorite budget bidets.

If you’re looking for a premium bidet, the BB2000 is a decent offering from BioBidet.

Also, take a peek at our favorite bidets from last year.