Alpha Bidet iX Hybrid vs. Alpha Bidet GX Wave

New bidets from a new company. How do they compare?

Alpha Bidet is a relative newcomer to the game with only 5 years on the market and only recently really starting to gain traction with their newest lineup of bidets.

The Alpha Bidet GX Wave and the Alpha Bidet iX Hybrid are the lower and middle tiers respectively of Alpha Bidet’s lineup.

They both polish posteriors, but how do you determine which is the best choice for you?

To compare, let’s look at a few different facets of the bidets at hand:

  • The cost
  • Best features
  • Who is this bidet for?

Let’s start with the lower cost model first, the GX Wave.

The Alpha Bidet GX Wave and its side panel control.


The Wave GX comes in at $279 on Alpha Bidet’s website (although Amazon lists it a bit less expensive) a whole $50 cheaper than the iX Hybrid.

Best features

Alpha Bidet packed a worthy boatload of great features into the GX Wave. While not quite the ridiculous bang for buck you get with the TOTO C100 which is more expensive than even the iX Hybrid.

Here they are at a glance:

  • Stainless steel nozzle – much more hygienic than plastic and longer lasting.
  • Hybrid water heating system – “never cold” water. It may not stay as hot as you like, but it never actually gets cold, thank God – Northerners know the pain of that icy winter water
  • Decently powerful dryer – a bit more powerful than the average bidet seat, but still isn’t going to get you 100% dry in a quick minute. Pro-tip: give it a quick pass with toilet paper first to speed that process up.
  • Oscillating nozzle – for me, this is a huge feature. Instead of having to ride my toilet seat like a regular at the bare-ass underground bull-riding club to get full coverage of the Pookushima Exclusion Zone.
  • Pulsating cleanse – pulses water for a massaging effect. Really helps those with occasional constipation (but don’t ask me to get into why).
  • Child wash – goes through a full wash/dry cycle so that the kids can’t exert any artistic freedom with their hygiene.
  • LED night-light – Some might find this totally uncessary, but I love these. It really makes those late night safaris into the bathroom much more pleasant. More importantly (to me) is that is just makes your toilet seem as if it’s from the future. Yep.
  • Strong rear wash – this is a separate nozzle from the regular rear wash. It outputs much more water at higher pressure to make sure you absolutely sparkle.
  • Sittable lid – this lid can support up to 200lbs, so to those who frequently find themselves just sitting in the bathroom, this goes out to you. Also, this is something the iX Hybrid DOESN’T have!
  • Nails the basics – As with most bidet seats, the basics are hard to mess up. There’s adjustable water pressure, heated seats (adjustable), a feminine nozzle, and a slow-close lid.

Who is this for?

The Alpha Bidet GX Wave is a really good value.

If you’re just dipping your toes into the wondrous world of bidets and have been dreaming of truly clean butts, consider the Alpha Bidet GX Wave.

This can also be a great secondary bidet if you’ve already got one in your primary bathroom and want to spruce up the guest bathroom.

Onto the Alpha Bidet iX Hybrid.

The Alpha Bidet iX Hybrid and its remote control.


At $329 on Alpha Bidet’s website, you will be spending a reasonable premium to upgrade to this more advanced model (again, Amazon has a MUCH less expensive price point for this bad boy).

Best features

Let me start by saying the iX Hybrid has everything the GX Wave does except for the sittable lid and side panel control. If you really like that aesthetic, go for the GX.

What sets the iX Hybrid apart are:

  • Soft rear wash – an option for a softer, more dispersed stream – this is especially useful for those with painful hemorrhoids.
  • Blue LED night-light – yes, I think the blue is superior to the white. That’s just me, though.
  • Remote – this is a personal preference, but there are many who see having a remote as a step-up from a side panel. It can make the toilet more streamlined and prevent you from having to contort your wrist to reach the buttons.
  • Better water heating – endless warm water versus the “never cold” promise of the GX Wave. This alone may be worth the upgrade!

Who is this bidet for?

While the features that separate the iX Hybrid from the GX Wave aren’t overwhelming, the water heating method and the remote should be enough, in most cases, to convince one to upgrade.

This bidet is for those who want to take a full, first-step into the beautiful land of bidets without having to be quite as budget conscious. This is a great first bidet for a master bathroom.

Smart Toilets for Smart People. The Best Integrated Toilet Bidets.

Integrated toilet bidets are the ultimate in luxurious poopin’, but what makes a good one and which ones are the best around?

What makes a great smart toilet?


The look of your toilet can determine whether your bathroom looks like a poo palace or a piece of crap.

Builder brand toilets (the kinds that come with many Lenar, Beazer or other builder homes) are generally unappealing, not to mention barely serviceable.

An integrated toilet bidet with a modern design can transform your bathroom completely. Also, most companies cutting edge designs are done in the style of integrated toilet bidets rather than regular toilets.


The features of most of these integrated bidets don’t vary too much as these bathroom beasts are all resting near the pinnacle of poopin’ tech.

What’s going to set them apart are going to be bells and whistles and how the features themselves perform.

For example, is the dryer actually going to dry my bum or am I going to have to get some toilet paper involved?

Ease of use

Your futuristic, nearly sentient toilet isn’t going to impress anyone if nobody can figure the damn thing out.

Being user friendly is important.

Ease of installation

This can end up saving you hundreds of dollars if you’re able to install the bidet yourself.

Thankfully, if you can get a little help for the lifting and positioning portion of the installation, anyone should be able to install most of these integrated bidets with basic tools.


What’s really meant by cost is the value per dollar rather than the cost as a deciding factor by itself.

The List

  • TOTO G400
  • Bio Bidet IB835
  • TOTO Neorest 550H
  • Kohler K-5401-0 Veil


The TOTO G400 is the best value smart toilet you’re gonna find.


When looking at the G400, you can clearly see that this guy is made of two separate units, the top which houses the bidet functions and water tank and the bottom which is the toilet.

While It looks quite good, it isn’t the best looking smart toilet as those are one piece and just look so darn good.

The sloping seat and lid flow right into the tank and electronics housing which are both clean looking without useless visual clutter and subtle branding.


The features of this unit closely mirror those in the TOTO S550 with a few added bonuses.

  • Heated seats and water with 5 levels of heat.
  • Front, rear, and soft rear cleanse modes.
  • Auto open and close lid.
  • Oscillating and pulsating cleanse.
  • 2 user profiles to save temperature, water pressure, and nozzle positions.
  • Bowl premist and CeFiONtect bowl glaze make it incredibly hard for anything brown and sticky to stick to the inside of the bowl resulting in less time spent scrubbing.
  • Auto flush automatically determines how much water to use and flushes as you stand up.
Look at that coverage! Oo lala.
  • Cyclone flush system sends two streams of water spinning down the bowl to get every inch of porcelain. Nowhere to hide for El Turdo.
  • Warm air dryer and deodorizer.

Ease of use

The TOTO G400 is user friendly, although, if someone hasn’t used a bidet before it might seem a bit overwhelming. This is true of every electric bidet, though.

The G400 uses the same remote as the S350 and S550

The remote is easy to operate and as long as the person using it knows the difference between front/rear wash and oscillating and pulsating cleanses, there shouldn’t be any surprises.

Ease of installation

If you can install a toilet, you can install the TOTO G400. There’s nothing surprising with the installation (spoiler, this is the case with all the other smart toilets!).

The only extra step and something to be aware of is the need for an electrical outlet. Don’t buy any smart toilet f you have nowhere to plug it in and aren’t ready to install a new outlet!


The TOTO G400 is definitely worth the price. A TOTO toilet with cyclone flush technology is already going to cost upwards of $500, add onto that a bidet that’s comparable to the TOTO S550 with auto flushing and a modern, skirted design and you have a great buy at just under $2000.

See the current price of the TOTO G400 here.

Bio Bidet IB835

The Bio Bidet IB835 brings sleek looks and a wonderful remote to the smart toilet party.


The Bio Bidet IB835 is long, low and… cute – there, I said it. It looks cute! It reminds me of a beluga whale’s face.

This isn’t to say I wouldn’t want it in my bathroom! Bio Bidet has done a great job making this smart toilet look modern and clean.

The toilet section is smooth lines all around and the bidet section is a bit more streamlined than the TOTO G400’s.

Overall, a definite statement maker that will set your bathroom apart.


The features of the IB835 are comparable to any other top-of-the-line bidet with the added bonuses of an above average remote and a kids’ mode.

A glance at the IB835’s remote. A note: “cleanse” is posterior wash and “bidet” is feminine wash. Also, the lower tier of options pops out of the bottom of the remote when pressed – a cool feature.

All the usual suspects such as:

  • Heated seats and adjustable water temperature and pressure.
  • Rear and frontal cleansing modes.
  • Oscillating and pulsating cleansing modes.
  • Warm air dryer and deodorizer.
  • Auto flush and remote-controlled flush.
  • Kids’ mode that runs a full wash/dry posterior clean cycle with low pressure.
  • Illuminated LCD remote.

Ease of use

Once you figure out the remote’s weird naming scheme, it’s smooth sailing.

Bio Bidet has tried to simplify the use of the bidet by reducing the various functions to their basic essence – for example, the oscillating mode has been changed to just “moving” and pulsating has been changed to “massage”.

Also, the basic cleaning functions have been dubbed “cleanse” for the rear wash and “bidet” for the frontal wash.

I’m not sure their rational for this as I’m sure most people buying an expensive smart toilet like this are familiar with the general terminology.

What’s most baffling is that there is no consistent terminology throughout the rest of Bio Bidet’s lineup. The BB 2000 just has pictures. The BB 1000 is the clearest with “feminine” and “posterior” modes clearly distinguished.

Anyway, this turned into a bit of a rant, but that’s not to say the unit is hard to use, I just wish Bio Bidet would stick to a more consistent naming scheme for its bidets’ functions.

Ease of installation

As mentioned in the G400 section, there’s nothing terribly hard about installing any of these smart toilets – as long as you’re able to install a regular toilet, you should have no issues.


The classic look is tough to compete with.

The Bio Bidet IB835 is starting to creep into luxury territory in terms of the cost. With these guys going for $2000 or more, you start to wonder if it’s worth it.

The IB835 smart toilet is worth it – the features list may be a bit lacking compared to the other toilets on this list (no auto open/close lid or bowl pre-mist), but the smooth design alone and otherwise comprehensive feature list make it worth the price.

See the current price of the Bio Bidet IB835 here.

TOTO Neorest NX1

A sexy choice for those most concerned with using less water.


The TOTO Neorest NX1 is said to be inspired by earthenware vases, handmade by a master craftsman.

Take that how you will, but I, for one, have to agree that this smart toilet is just plain foxy.

Smooth lines all around, this toilet reminds me of something a pre-cog from the movie Minority Report would bathe in. It’s THAT futuristic. It’s also won Red Dot and iF Design Awards which nothing else on this list can say.

Bottom line is this – if creating a beautiful bathroom is your number one priority, this is your best option.


The features of the TOTO Neorest NX1 are nearly identical to that of the TOTO G400 save for the few I’ll list here:

  • Ultra efficient, 1 gallon per flush or .8 gallon per flush modes.
  • Warm-white bowl illuminating night-light.
  • Ewater + for both pre-mist of the bowl and cleaning of the nozzle. Ewater+ is electrolyzed water which is an amazing and environmentally friendly cleaner and disinfectant.

As you can see, the features list isn’t much more than that of the previous two integrated toilet bidets. The reason for the price premium is the attention to appearance.

Ease of operation

The beautiful remote controls the Neorest NX1 effortlessly controls the toilet.

There are two rows of buttons, one on the front and one on top. The front row controls all bidet functions except the oscillation and pulsation. The top row controls the other functions like the dryer, flushing and opening and closing the lid.

Ease of installation

The only reason this might be a bit trickier to install is the anxiety one might encounter due to the potential for scratching what is essentially a piece of art that you poop into.


At around $10,000 on TOTO’s website and $7,000-ish on others, it’s hard to justify splurging on the TOTO NX1 unless you’ve got the cash to spare and really want to wow your friends (and yourself).

Nonetheless, this beautiful smart toilet deserves a place on this list.

See the current price of the TOTO NX1 here.

Kohler K-5401 Veil

The Kohler Veil smart toilet is a pillar of style with brains and a seemingly endless features list to match.


Some may say this integrated toilet bidet takes the cake for best lookin’. I still maintain the Neorest NX1 as the pageant queen, but I could never fault someone for preferring the Kohler Veil.

It separates itself from other smart toilets in its flower-like appearance – it looks more like a lily than a toilet

Like the Neorest NX1, the Kohler K-5401 presents a stark contrast most other bidets and will undoubtedly make anyone lucky enough to use it say “woah, dude”.


The Kohler K-5401 packs an impressive list of features, beating out the others on this list in sheer number.

  • Heated seats and adjustable water temperature and pressure.
  • Front and rear cleansing modes with the ability to change the width of the spray – this is the future right here!
  • Stainless steel nozzle.
  • 1.28 gallons per flush or .8 gallons per flush.
  • LED night-light.
Like a moth to the bug zapper….
  • Electrolyzed water (same as TOTO’s branded Ewater+) AND UV light used to sanitize the device.
  • Deodorizer
  • Warm-air dryer.
  • Auto raise and lower lid.
  • Touch-screen LCD remote

Ease of use

With a clearly labeled remote (and the coolest one here), operating the Kohler K-5401 is a sinch.

Plain English is great – some questionable pictures, not so much.

With everything clearly labeled in English, you can forgive the confusing imagery. I mean, wtf is going on with the “massage” image? And the front and rear wash pictures – why are there two streams? Why not just show the front and rear stream exclusively?

These are, of course, small annoyances. It’s hard to find a perfect remote, but the Kohler K-5401 comes close and is a look at the future.

Ease of installation

It isn’t the easiest thing in the world to screw in the floor studs after removing the access cover if you have larger tools or hands, but other than that, this is manother job that can easily be done by those with who can measure accurately and have experience in basic plumbing and using tools.


If all smart toilets were lined up in a row in order of least to most expensive and I started at the cheapest and made my way towards the most expensive, this is the first one I’d stop at and say “mama mia, you’re a spicy little meatball, aren’t ya?”

In other words, it’s a shockingly good looking bidet and the first one to catch my eye at this price range or below which is around $3,500

If you’re looking for a bidet that packs a massive feature list including stainless steel nozzle, adjustable spray width and UV light disinfection and looks stunning, get this one.

See the current price of the Kohler K-5401 Veil here.

KOHLER C-230 Bidet Seat Review.

A beauty queen with a few screws loose.

The KOHLER C-230 has been called the most lovely of bidet seats, but is it actually a good bidet?

If looks were all that mattered, then I’d forever be single and the KOHLER C-230 would be a required purchase for every bidet seeker.  Every time I look at this thing, I’m blown away by its sleek lines and the sexiest attached control panel I’ve seen (not to mention its sultry touchscreen remote).

[Read more…]

Brondell Swash SE600 Bidet Seat Review

Pledge your vassalage to the new king of sub-$300 bidets.

Check the insanely low price of the Brondell SE600 here.

Oscillation, pulsation, a warm-air dryer and a deodorizer?!

All that in addition to the old stand-bys of heated seats and water – The Brondell Swash SE600 has it all.

Brondell is aggressively trying it’s best to enter the new class of “luxury-budget” bidets. Bidets bristling with features, yet unbelievably cheap for all they offer.

Other notable entries in this class are the wonderful Novita Slimline, the true king of budget friendly bidets (although more than $300), the TOTO C100, and the stalwart lil trooper, the  SmartBidet SB-110.

Big Features, Small Price

The Brondell Swash SE600 is, in my opinion outclassing almsot all other bidets in its price bracket of $200-300.

It does this by bringing features usually reserved for the $350+ clique.

What Brondell has done here is bring two features that were normally a “this or that” scenario in the land of budget bidets, and opted to include both while also not foregoing any of the cleaning functions. Including both the deodorizer and warm air dryer was a big surprise as a good number of bidets in this price range will sport a dryer, however the Brondell Swash SE600 is the first I’ve seen to also include a deodorizer.

Previously, the TOTO C100 was the lowest entry point someone could find both in.

There’s also a night light and a more surprisingly a pulsating cleanse mode which I’m a huge fan of and you just don’t often see in most budget bidets save for those by Bio Bidet who I’ve always admired for that.

Lookin’ Sleek There, Slick

Another area where Brondell consistently shines is their approach to bidet design.  Never too flashy and always appealing.  Brondell have stuck to a clean, modern motif for their bidets, most similar to TOTO who always keeps things muted and sensible.

The SE600 also packs a remote instead of an attached side panel design. This further slims the unit down to help provide that bathroom synergy that makes every excursion to the toilet a dream you don’t want to wake up from.

In the end, this bidet from Brondell is the best you’re going to find for less than $300. 

It heralds the beginning of the  market dominance by the cheaper, better bidets of tomorrow.

Check the insanely low price of the Brondell SE600 here.

Bio Bidet Slim TWO Bidet Review

Bio Bidet’s Newest Bidet is a Functional, However, Underwhelming Upgrade.

With the Slim ONE, Bio Bidet made a bare-bones, simple, ass-blasting device.  It looked good, performed well and cost around $200.

Now, they’ve released the Slim TWO for nearly $300.

How exactly has the bidet evolved in it’s newest iteration and is it worth the additional cheddah?

How does the Slim ONE compare to the Slim TWO?

Well, I’d argue it should change its name to the Slim One and a Half for starters.

Read on to dig deeper into the Bio Bidet Slim TWO.

I have to admit, it does look nice.

The Slim TWO is the Slim ONE with a remote.

That’s it.

While this isn’t a bad thing, and the Slim ONE could certainly benefit from a remote, I don’think the price is justified by such a meager addition.

Nonetheless, I still think this is a good bidet if you’re in the market for a relatively cheap option with a remote.

The Slim TWO’s chunky, nearly-square remote.

Let’s look at the Slim TWO’s features:

The Slim TWO comes with all the essential bidet features one would expect from an entry level bidet.

It has a heated seat and water, front and rear cleansing, a child mode, night light, an oscillating mode and a pulsating “massage” mode (ooo la la).

One interesting thing to note about the water heating system is that Bio Bidet was able to give the Slim TWO instantly heated water instead of a reservoir system.

This will allow the user to squirt squirt squirt that bidet until they’re absolutely sure no more lil turds are hanging out – all without fear of running out of warm water.

A feature like that is quite impressive in a $300 bidet.

It’s also unusual to find a pulsating mode in bidets at this price range, but it’s one of the things I like best about Bio Bidet, they include this feature on almost every one of their bidets.

If you have any trouble dropping the kids off at the pool, the massage feature works great for those of us who suffer from occasional constipation.

The Slim TWO shines through the night.... and the day if you forget to turn off the nightlight.

The Slim TWO shines through the night…. and the day if you forget to turn off the nightlight.

One feature that is slightly irksome for me is the nightlight.  It isn’t automatic and there isn’t a clear button to press to turn it on and off.

In order to toggle the light, you need to hold down the + sign on the remote.

While this isn’t a deal-breaker, and I’d rather opt for this than no nightlight, it can be a bit annoying.

At the end of the day, though, I’m left wondering why this bidet costs $100 more than the Slim ONE.

Bio Bidet even went so far as to copy and paste 99% of the Slim ONE product page on their website onto the Slim TWO page!

It’s the same bidet, for crump’s sake!

I don’t know why Bio Bidet had to have Kickstarter and IndieGoGo campaigns for this device (both of which raised ~$240,000 each) when all it is, is adding a remote to the same dang thing.

Ok, ok.  I admit a remote is nice, but I would never pay $100 for the luxury of using one.

The $100 less expensive Slim ONE - with all the features of the Slim TWO

The $100 less expensive Slim ONE – with all the features of the Slim TWO

If you are in search of a value/budget bidet, I feel like VALUE is going to be your principal guiding force.

In that case, get a Slim ONE instead.

It looks nice, has all the same features, and is $100 (!) less.


The Best TOTO Bidets, 2018

With 2017 way back in the rear-view mirror,  it’s time to start looking into which bidets are the best of 2018 (so far).

Toto has established itself as one of the premier if not the premier bidet manufacturer.

With a lengthy history, going back 100 years, Toto has a legacy of making wonderful bathroom fixtures.

2018 hasn’t been the most exciting year for the guys and gals of Toto’s bidet division.  With continued support of older bidet models,  nothing has happened as far as new washlets or washlet technology popping up on the scene.

However, this isn’t a bad thing. Toto’s lineup of bidets is already stellar, with a bidet to fit any budget and bum.

Here are the best bidets you can buy from Toto in 2018.

In Q1 2018, the Toto C100 still ranks as the best budget bidet you can buy.

Check out the current price of this bad boy here.

It all comes down to the exhaustive features list that truly boggles the mind when you compare it to the price tag.

Of course, it has all the standard features found on any budget bidet worth its salt, such as heated seats, heated water, an eco mode, adjustable nozzle positions and pressure and a self cleaning wand.

That’s where a sane person would assume the features stop.

But they don’t stop.

Toto somehow packs a warm air dryer and a deodorizer into this beast.

It’s as if TOTO wants to gaslight everyone who is interested in buying the C100, the price to performance ratio is just so good, it’s absolutely insane.

You can find models in both the round and elongated sizes, too, so any bowl can become a powerhouse of anal cleaning.

Check out our full review of the Toto C100 here

And for those who are SUPER curious, also see how it compares to the TOTO C200 here

On the other end of the spectrum is Toto’s S550e with eWater+.

Head on over to Amazon to see the current price of the S550e here

This bathroom behemoth comes packed to the brim with features.

In addition to everything the C100 has, the S550e features the use of eWater+ which is electrolyzed water that acts as a surprisingly able disinfectant.

The S550e will squirt that eWater+ all over the bowl before and after each dump session, providing you a much cleaner bowl -without you having to break out the disgusting, poo-water soaked toilet bowl cleaner- when compared to washlets that lack this feature.

The washlet also features a very suave looking remote, a night light and an auto open and close lid.

Besides the eWater+, the other major difference is the instantaneous water heating that provides endless, on demand hot water with no exceptions.  This allows the bidet to be much thinner than its budget bidet brethren.

This is in contrast to the C100’s tank reservoir system, which will still provides a good deal of warm water, but only until the tank is dry.  Consider the S550e if you expect multiple people to be using the toilet in succession.


Some may be wondering what difference is between the S550e and the S350e and if it justifies the leap in price.  

The S550e features pulsating and oscillating cleansing modes, whereas the S350e lacks these.

IMHO, oscillation is a MUST. The rapid sweeping of water back and forth removes filth so much better than just a constant spray in the same spot.  Think about how you clean anything with a hose – your car, deck, dog, kids, etc.  You sweep that mother back and forth.

The pulsating spray is also extremely nice to have (especially for us poor folks with a lack of fiber in our diets) as it can help with constipation better than a traditional spray.  This feature isn’t as necessary as oscillation, but it’s a wonderful addition to have.

Oh, it also features a much more attractive lid.

All of these features are worth the price difference.

Overall, the S550e is the best washlet that TOTO currently offers,  and also one of the best bidet seats available for purchase from any brand.

A full review is coming soon, so hold on to yer butts.

5 Things You Should Know BEFORE Buying a Bidet

Buying a bidet is a transcendent experience, so it isn’t surprising that many people rush into the process and buy the first bidet that looks sexy enough to clean their undercarriage.  Without careful research and due diligence, the bidet buying process can turn from a dream into a shitty experience.  To help you avoid snags, snafus and  outright disaster, pay particular attention to these ___ factors while you’re searching for your new best friend

      1. Elongated or round?

(If you’re planning on getting a bidet attachment, read on – this doesn’t apply to you. Hooray!)the difference between a round and elongated toilet as well as their measurements

Most toilets nowadays have one of two types of bowls: round or elongated, with elongated being more common.  Therefore, most bidet manufacturers have made corresponding bidets to fit both kinds.  Some bidets only come in one size or the other, however, so be sure you’re buying the right one.

How do you determine the shape of your toilet?  Well, start with looking at it from a birds’ eye view.  If the bowl appears to have a soccer-ball shape, then it’s round.  If it looks more like a rugby or football ball, then you’ve got yourself an elongated.  You can also bust out your measuring tape and measure from the front of the toilet to the seat mounting holes.  An elongated toilet will measure from 18 to 19.5 inches whereas a round toilet will measure 16.5 to 17.75 inches.

This might seem obvious, but it’s an easy mistake to make!


       2. Do you have room?

Bidets aren’t massive devices, but they do increase the footprint of your toilet by a couple of inches.  This can be especially irksome if the left side (while you’re facing it) of the toilet is close to or against a wall or cabinet.  Toilets in this position can really only manage with a remote operated bidet-seat.  All bidet attachments are out, as are all panel operated bidet-seats.  I don’t know of any bidets that currently feature a panel on the right side of the bidet, so, sorry lefties!

If your toilet is too close to the wall, you won't be able to install some types of bidets.

Beware the position of your throne.

I mentioned remote operated bidet-seats as a solution to this issue, and it is worth talking a little more about.  Remote operated bidets will come with a remote as well as a mountable remote-holder.

Some benefits of this compared to a panel operated bidet-seat are: solving the issue of not having enough clearance for a panel, easier operation (no reaching back to press some of the buttons that are located near the rear of the panel), much better for lefties, streamlines the look of the toilet.

To sum it all up: measure the clearance between the right side of the toilet and the wall/cabinet/obstruction and consider getting a remote operated bidet-seat if there isn’t enough room.


      3. You will NEED a power outlet for electric bidet-seats (and bonus warning for bidet attachment  people).

Another seemingly no-brainer, but another detail that can often get overlooked in the excitement of buying a bidet.

you will need to plug in an electric bidet.

Don’t let this happen to your bathroom. Be aware of your electrical outlet situation.

If you’re buying a bidet-seat, chances are, it’s electric.  The nozzle, water and seat heaters, dryer, and everything else requires electricity – and therefore a working three pronged outlet (or adapter) in order to function.  Before ordering a bidet-seat, take a peek at your commode.  Where is the power outlet?  Is it conveniently located next to the toilet?  If not, is the cord running from the bidet-seat to the available outlet not too much of an eyesore?  Are there other appliances that need to be plugged in at all times that are going to hog the outlets?  Will you have to annoyingly unplug one device to plug in your bidet and vice-versa?

These are some questions that need to be asked before you decide a bidet-seat is a good fit for your bathroom.

Bidet-attachment buyers, beware!  You aren’t totally off the hook here.  If you’re buying a bidet-attachment with a warm water option, you need to be sure your bathroom has a warm water connection that you can easily access.  Is the warm water attachment in a cabinet under the sink?  Are you willing to drill a hole in the cabinet to thread it through?  Again, are you going to be okay with the look of your bathroom after connecting the hot water to your bidet attachment?


      4. Tankless or reservoir heating?

Electric bidets typically have one of two heating methods.  Tankless heating will instantly heat water and can provide a limitless supply of warm, butt-friendly water.  Bidets that feature this method of heating will be smaller (more on why later) and more expensive.  Who doesn’t want an unlimited stream of gloriously comfortable water to the sphincter?

Reservoir heating systems employ a large tank (this is why tankless are smaller!) to hold and heat water.  The bidet will fill the tank with water and heat it up, then continue to heat it periodically when it’s not in use so that you aren’t left getting an unpleasant, ass-clenchingly cold jolt when you clean yourself.  The problem with these types of bidets is that the hot water will eventually run out.  It can usually suffice for a single user, but if you’ve got a line forming outside the bathroom of all the neighbors who’ve heard your yells of ecstasy during your cleaning sessions (….or just family members or roommates), then the next user might not be too pleased with the lack of warmth.



      5. Do you need feminine cleansing?

If you’re a lady, or have ladies in the household, the answer to the above question is an emphatic YES!  Feminine cleansing boils down to either a second nozzle or a movable nozzle which is capable of cleaning the frontal area, instead of the rear.  For men, this is pretty pointless, although it’s not a totally terrible experience.

Nearly all electric bidet-seats will have this feature, so no worries there.  But, be on the lookout for bidet attachments that only have one, immovable nozzle.  If you’re looking for the best in hygiene, a frontal cleanse is a must.


In the end, a bidet can only give you as much bang for your buck as you allow.  Be smart about buying a bidet and don’t forget these five essential points to keep in mind.  Happy bideting!


Brondell GS-70 GoSpa Review

The Brondell GS-70 GoSpa

Brondell’s GoSpa is a functional travel bidet with a large bottle and adequate spray pressure.

Current price and more photos.

Good spray pressure.Airlock leaks a bit.
Bumps on bottle help with grip.
Adequate water supply.
Travel bag doesn't advertise what's inside.

First, the basics:

  • About 7 inches long without the nozzle attached.
  • Nozzle is 5 inches long.
  • Comes with a detachable nozzle, 400ml squeeze bottle and a small carrying bag.
  • Non-electric (uses only your hand pressure to operate).
  • It comes only in purple/white as shown in the the attached picture.
  • Nozzle has a small hood and five holes for a focused stream with adequate pressure.
  • Utilizes an “airlock” to determine pressure.
    • This is a small hole on the bottom of  the squeeze bottle that you can cover with your finger to prevent water from leaking out of the nozzle when you are about to use the unit.
    • When you uncover the hole, you can squeeze the bidet while the hole acts as an air intake.  This should allow for a nice, steady stream with easily controllable pressure and also allows the bidet to re-inflate itself so that it can be more easily squeezed again.
    • Some water may (probably WILL) leak out of this if the bidet is right-side up.
  • Can be used with both warm and cold water (essentially whatever is available in the restroom!).
  • One-year manufacturer’s warranty.

The Pros:

  • Good pressure.
    • The nozzle design has five small holes.  This keeps the stream focused and the pressure high.
  • Squeeze bottle is a decent size.
    • 400ml will be, in most cases, enough to finish the job for anyone without the need to suffer “the refill of shame”.
  • Bumps on bottle provide superior grip.
    • With leaky airlocks in portables, chances are, you’ll get your hands a bit wet.  Brondell has added thoughtful bumps along the middle of the bottle to aid with gripping the device.
  • The cost.
    • You won’t find a non-electric portable that will bankrupt you, but I always think it is worth mentioning that your out-and-about hygiene can be taken care of for such a modest price.
  • Nozzle angle.
    • Although some different (not more difficult) maneuvering is required compared to travel bidets with curved nozzles, it isn’t any harder to hit a bulls-eye with the Brondell.
  • Nozzle can be stored in the bottle.
    • Pop the top off, flip it over and it fits nicely into the bottle.  It can’t be screwed down or in any way attached in this configuration, so be sure you’ve emptied all water before attempting this advanced maneuver.
  • Long enough.
    • With a 7 inch bottle and a 5 inch nozzle, you will have plenty of buffer between yourself and the conflict area.
  • Carrying case isn’t THAT bad.
    • This comes down to Brondell not having the word “bidet” in their name (that’s all that’s on the bag: “Brondell”), so it leaves a little mystery as to what’s inside.

The Cons:

  • Leaky.
    • Another portable bidet with a leaky one way valve.
    • It seems impossible to get this right and wet hands are becoming a trademark of the travel bidet.

Final Thoughts:

Brondell has made a simple product that simply works.  There aren’t any bells, whistles or kazoos, but there are some grip bumps, a decent travel bag and an adequate water supply to get the job done.  The few nozzle holes also provide a bit more pressure than some other travel bidets, so if that’s most important to you, consider the Brondell GoSpa.

Check out more photos and the current price HERE.