Luxe Bidet Neo 110 Review

Simple Functionality – The Luxe Bide Neo 110

What happens when one of the best bidet attachment makers makes the simplest of bidet attachments while using their signature high quality components and years of experience?

You get the Luxe Bidet Neo 110.

A bidet attachment with only one purpose – clean dat booty.

See how much the Neo 110 is currently going for – up to the minute pricing.


The Neo 110 is a single-nozzle, dial-operated bidet attachment without any other bells or whistles. It simply sprays a solid stream of water at your biscuit factory at a pressure of your choosing.

Luxe Bidet has made this a bidet that could be operated by anyone. Its dial is easy to turn and, and….. well….. that’s it.  That’s all there is to it!

Functionality

The simple, one-dimensional operation is a blessing for those of us who don’t care about anything but having a clean butt.

Children, grandparents and bidet novices (guests, amirite?) will all be able to easily enjoy the benefits of a mini team of firefighters with a mini-hose cleaning the dirtiest of dirties (in truth, no miniature firefighters are trapped within the bidet and forced to clean asses for a living – don’t worry).

Like all Luxe Bidets, the nozzle is behind a little protective door and also auto retracts into a small sheath after each use, keeping the experience clean.

The Neo 110 has a protective housing area for its nozzle.

You can see the nozzle’s protective housing here.

Also, like (nearly) all non-electric bidets, the nozzle isn’t directly adjustable, so you will need to do the “lil poopy” which is a very new and very cool dance which mimics the way bidet users must slightly adjust their bums in order to get proper aim with the spray.

Adjusting to the spray is easy and eventually you’ll begin to know before you even turn it on if it’s going to be zeroed-in on the target or not, just by the way you’re sitting.

Installing any bidet attachment is ridiculously easy, and the Neo 110 isn’t any different.  Simply take off your toilet seat, slide the attachment in, adjust the sliders, and then reattach your seat.

Viola, you now have a lovely bidet.

 

Luxe Bidet Neo 185 Elite Series Review

The Neo 185, available in white or blue.

The Luxe Bide Neo 185 is Luxe Bidet’s entry into dual nozzle territory (along with it’s cousin, the Neo 180).

Dual nozzles provide a way for the ladies in the house to clean their lady parts as well as booties.  For the gentlemen reading, you can still use the frontal wash if you want, just don’t blame me for the soggy sac.

In addition to the front cleansing nozzle, the Luxe Bidet Neo 185 is also equipped with Luxe Bidet’s fantastic ceramic core valves and a self cleaning mode, along with the standard bidet function.

Check up to the minute pricing of the fantastic Neo 185 here

How is the Neo 185 different from the Neo 180?

Well, on paper, they have the same specs, but take a quick peek at their pics and you’ll see that the Neo 185 sports a twist dial to control water pressure instead of the Neo 180’s pull-lever.

The Neo 180 (left) with its lever control and the Neo 185 (right) with dial control.

The Neo 180 (left) with its lever control and the Neo 185 (right) with dial control.

Some people prefer the twist dial because it can be a little more precise when it comes to adjusting water pressure, with a clearly marked ring around the dial.  The lever control on the other hand, has no such indication of pressure.  Just take your life in your hands and pull that sucker until the desired pressure is reached.

(It should be noted that I prefer the lever control for the sole reason of it feeling like a jet’s throttle instead of a coin operated candy machine.  Your preferences are sure to vary, however!)

Functionality

Both sprays are easy to control with the dual-dial design (twist the smaller nozzle left for feminine cleaning, right to activate the nozzle self wash). I found the rear spray to be just about on target, with a few lil scoots and shifts required to achieve full coverage. This shouldn’t be too much of a surprise, as bidet attachment makers simply can’t accommodate all shapes and sizes of butts – so, expect to do a little shimmying.

Not having a need for the feminine cleansing mode, I can’t directly comment on it, however my volunteer claimed it was great and the pressure was just enough on the low-medium setting to provide adequate cleaning without the pressure being overwhelming.

Overall, this is a fantastic bidet for anyone looking to make the jump to a two-nozzle system.  Solid-feeling and easy to manipulate controls, a self-rinse feature and dual nozzles that function as expected – Luxe Bidet continues to roll out booty-pleasing bidets.

One caveat to this for those in colder climates: there is no hot water function, so if your cold water is extra cold in the winter, be aware that it is this temperature that your nether-regions are going to contend with.

Luxe Bidet: A Quick look

Luxe Bidet has been on the forefront of bidet attachment production and design since 2008 when they first started in San Francisco.


With their newest bidet line, the Neo series, Luxe Bidet have set their sights on securing their place as one of the top bidet attachment manufacturers.

The Luxe Bidet Neo 320. Look at that sexy lever!

Luxe Bidet has created a line of well-built, simple to use, good looking bidet attachments with a model sure to please everyone.

From the modest Neo 110 (sporting a single nozzle and a cool-water pressure-dial) to the luxurious Neo 320 (dual nozzle, warm or cool water with a lovely lever to control pressure) and everything  in-between, Luxe Bidet has done a remarkable job of simplifying the bidet attachment buying process.


What places Luxe Bidet above many of the other affordable bidet attachment makers is their focus on high quality parts.

When you’re first installing a bidet attachment, one of the primal fears that can creep up is that of the unit leaking, flooding your house and drowning your cat.

Most bidet attachment makers have done a decent job of stopping the threat of leaking between the water line and the bidet, and if they haven’t, you can throw some plumbers’ tape on there and most likely be good.

Where other bidet attachments can come apart later down the line though, is the internal valve.

This is essentially the valve that controls how much water is going to come surging out of the bidet and onto/into/around your butt.

Luxe Bidet incorporate high-quality ceramic valves in all of their bidet attachments, making them much less likely to spring a leak while you’re off in Bali for an extended vacation, trying to convince your significant other to try the local cuisine even though they somehow already know they won’t like it.

It’s this kind of commitment to quality that has made me a huge Luxe Bidet fan, even so far as saying the Luxe Bidet Neo 320 is the best bidet attachment available last year.


Anywho, all I ask is that when you look for a bidet attachment, seriously consider Luxe Bidet.

You and your ass won’t regret it.

 

 

 

 

Bio Bidet Slim TWO Bidet Review

Bio Bidet’s Newest Bidet is a Functional, However, Underwhelming Upgrade.

With the Slim ONE, Bio Bidet made a bare-bones, simple, ass-blasting device.  It looked good, performed well and cost around $200.

Now, they’ve released the Slim TWO for nearly $300.

How exactly has the bidet evolved in it’s newest iteration and is it worth the additional cheddah?

How does the Slim ONE compare to the Slim TWO?

Well, I’d argue it should change its name to the Slim One and a Half for starters.

Read on to dig deeper into the Bio Bidet Slim TWO.

I have to admit, it does look nice.


The Slim TWO is the Slim ONE with a remote.

That’s it.

While this isn’t a bad thing, and the Slim ONE could certainly benefit from a remote, I don’think the price is justified by such a meager addition.

Nonetheless, I still think this is a good bidet if you’re in the market for a relatively cheap option with a remote.

The Slim TWO’s chunky, nearly-square remote.

Let’s look at the Slim TWO’s features:

The Slim TWO comes with all the essential bidet features one would expect from an entry level bidet.

It has a heated seat and water, front and rear cleansing, a child mode, night light, an oscillating mode and a pulsating “massage” mode (ooo la la).

One interesting thing to note about the water heating system is that Bio Bidet was able to give the Slim TWO instantly heated water instead of a reservoir system.

This will allow the user to squirt squirt squirt that bidet until they’re absolutely sure no more lil turds are hanging out – all without fear of running out of warm water.

A feature like that is quite impressive in a $300 bidet.

It’s also unusual to find a pulsating mode in bidets at this price range, but it’s one of the things I like best about Bio Bidet, they include this feature on almost every one of their bidets.

If you have any trouble dropping the kids off at the pool, the massage feature works great for those of us who suffer from occasional constipation.

The Slim TWO shines through the night.... and the day if you forget to turn off the nightlight.

The Slim TWO shines through the night…. and the day if you forget to turn off the nightlight.

One feature that is slightly irksome for me is the nightlight.  It isn’t automatic and there isn’t a clear button to press to turn it on and off.

In order to toggle the light, you need to hold down the + sign on the remote.

While this isn’t a deal-breaker, and I’d rather opt for this than no nightlight, it can be a bit annoying.


At the end of the day, though, I’m left wondering why this bidet costs $100 more than the Slim ONE.

Bio Bidet even went so far as to copy and paste 99% of the Slim ONE product page on their website onto the Slim TWO page!

It’s the same bidet, for crump’s sake!

I don’t know why Bio Bidet had to have Kickstarter and IndieGoGo campaigns for this device (both of which raised ~$240,000 each) when all it is, is adding a remote to the same dang thing.

Ok, ok.  I admit a remote is nice, but I would never pay $100 for the luxury of using one.

The $100 less expensive Slim ONE - with all the features of the Slim TWO

The $100 less expensive Slim ONE – with all the features of the Slim TWO

If you are in search of a value/budget bidet, I feel like VALUE is going to be your principal guiding force.

In that case, get a Slim ONE instead.

It looks nice, has all the same features, and is $100 (!) less.

 

The Best Brondell Bidets, 2018

Oh, Brondell.  I’d sing an ode to your bidets if I weren’t a bidet disguised as a human who writes about bidets and therefore unable to sing.

Brondell has been in the competitive bathroom scene since 2003 and since then has become one of the most well-know bidet and toilet makers.

Let’s take a lil peek at their best bidets so far in 2018.


Brondell Swash 1400

See up to the minute pricing HERE.

The Brondell Swash 1400 washlet bidet seat comes in two colors, white and biscuit.

Biscuit on the left, white on the right.

Brondell’s top of the line bidet still ranks as its best.  With one of the most beautiful shapes and ominous yet wise looking sensor areas, the Brondell Swash 1400 is one of the best looking bidets around.

In fact, I love this bidet so much, they used to call me Big Swash Dude or BROdell back in high school.

The reasons I love the Swash 1400 bidet are two-fold.


First, and most obviously, are the features

The Brondell Swash 1400 has dual steel nozzles and a warm air dryer which can both be seen here.

The Brondell Swash 1400 has dual steel nozzles and a warm air dryer which can both be seen here.

There are all the features one could expect of a high-end bidet and even a few more.

For example, the Brondell Swash 1400 lets you control the width of the spray – meaning that you can choose from a concentrated, narrow spray to a wide, softer spray.

There is also a little dash of sci-fi in the nozzle.  It is sterilized by silver nano-particles which literally rip bacteria and viruses apart.  Intense.  Metal.

The dryer is quite effective, as is the deodorizer – which, thank God, can be replaced easily, as needed.

Oh!  And I almost forgot to mention the two programmable user settings.

The Swash 1400 certainly makes it pretty darn easy to clean yer ass.


The second reason the Swash 1400 bidet reigns supreme is its looks.

I'm a sucker for night lights and the Brondell Swash 1400 has a glorious one.

I’m a sucker for night lights and the Brondell Swash 1400 has a glorious one.

While it isn’t doing anything necessarily mind-blowing/avant garde (nobody is asking for an avant garde bidet…yet), it checks all the right boxes as far as style goes.

Resembling other bidets in Brondell’s lineup, the Swash 1400 has sexy lines, and a hinge that frames the area which houses the guts that make this bidet tick.

The shape of the seat conforms nicely to most any batoot, and the hidden rear pocket stows away the unsightly power cables and water lines, leading to a sleek, minimal look.

Speaking of sleek and minimal, the Swash 1400 is thin, due mostly to its use of a ceramic core heating system which instantly heats water on-demand and forgoes the need for a large water reservoir system.

When push comes to shove, the Brondell Swash 1400 is the best bidet easily available in the USA.  I’m a huge fan.



Next up is actually a very similar bidet, but in the neighborhood of $200 less.

Brondell Swash 1000

See up to the minute pricing HERE.

The Brondell Swash 1000 is quite similar to the Brondell Swash 1400.  They both share a ceramic core instant water heating system, oscillating dual nozzles with silver nanoparticle sterilization, a warm air dryer and a deodorizer.

If these features sound good enough, then, hey, my job is done and you can just go ahead and buy that butt buffer.

If you need a little more convincing, read on.


The features on the Brondell Swash 1000 toss it right up into the “super ultra luxury bidet” category.

As mentioned earlier, the Swash 1000 has instantaneously heated water, a warm air dryer, two stainless steel nozzles which tear bacteria and viruses apart with badass silver nanoparticles, and a deodorizer.

What The Swash 1000 lacks versus the Swash 1400 is either going to make you triumphantly shout out: “Heh!  I never needed all those bells and whistles anyway.  All I want is a clean booty.” OR “Ehhhh, well….. I love night lights, hidden cables, user profiles and replaceable deodorizers.”

Brondell Swash 1000 versus Brondell Swash 1400

The Brondell Swash 1000 on the left and the Brondell Swash 1400 on the right.

Maybe I should have used a spoiler tag up there, but in short, the main differences between the Swash 1000 and the Swash 1400 come down to aesthetic changes.

  • The Swash 1000 doesn’t have a hidden compartment to clean up the look of the water and power connections.
  • It also doesn’t have a night light (personally, something I gotta have, but I know many couldn’t care less).
  • There have also been some cosmetic changes to the Swash 1400 that aren’t seen on the Swash 1000, such as contouring the base of the unit to better blend in with the toilet, creating a more seamless look.

Honestly, though, I love the look of both.


Earlier, it may have sounded like I was bashing the Swash 1000, but that’s far from the case (wouldn’t be on this list, otherwise)

In reality, many of the things it lacks ARE just extras and don’t actually directly contribute to a bidets prime directive: clean asses.

The features of the Brondell Swash 1000 are completely focused on booty blasting, posterior polishing, rear refreshing cleanliness.

This makes it a wonderful buy for those looking for a nice starter bidet that accomplishes its main goal in a satisfying and effective manner.

The Best of Bio Bidet Bidets.

Bio Bidet has been hard at work.

Going from a minor blip on the bidet radar to a major player in just a few short years, Bio Bidet has rightfully garnered a die-hard following – much in part to their endless innovation.

What are Bio Bidet’s best bidets?


A8 Serenity

See up to the minute price here.

Bio Bidet’s newest bidet focuses on pleasing any posterior.

Adjust everything – Bio Bidet have really begun to differentiate themselves as the bidet maker for people who dig customization.

The A8 Serenity has all the features you’d expect of a high-end unit, such as adjustable nozzle positions, adjustable heating settings for the water, seat, and dryer as well as an eco-mode.

Some of its more premium features are a dual sided remote (which is actually pretty damn sexy, props to Bio Bidet), a stainless steel nozzle for added germ fighting capabilities and customization user profiles, so will never need to worry about that lil stream of water not being zeroed-in on Mt. Poopamanjaro.

What’s surprising about this bidet is the level of control the user has over features that haven’t previously been adjustable in other models.

The first is the dryer.  Not only are you able to change the temperature of the air, but you’re also able to adjust the power of the fans.

Next up is the water aeration.

Never before have we seen a bidet that lets you toggle the aeration of the water.

While we generally prefer aeration to be on for a more comfortable spray, turning it off offers a bit more power for those ultra nasty turds that just don’t wanna leave your loving embrace.

You are also able to play around with a few other features such as adjusting the night light (which lights up the whole bowl and looks super cool) and the chimes on the remote (or even turn them off completely).

With all that said, the A8 Serenity is Bio Bidet’s best bidet seat for those who are looking for a  totally tailored cleaning ass-perience.


Next up is the Bio Bidet entry level, budget bidet.

The Bio Bidet Slim ONE

See up to the minute price here.

This bidet seat is the best cheap bidet seat out there.

Usually, we wouldn’t recommend anything below $250, as the components and features are, to put it plainly, shit.

However, Bio Bidet was able to create a bidet seat that has more than adequate features as well as high durability.

The Bio Bidet Slim ONE has:

a stainless steel nozzle

front and rear cleansing

pulsating cleanse mode

nozzle oscillation as well as adjustable nozzle position

child mode

turbo mode (for those who really want to live)

a heated seat with adjustable temperature

adjustable water temperature

a nozzle cleaning mode

a night light

and finally, an energy saving eco mode.

Yeah, that’s right.  That is the features list for a bidet that costs less than a family dinner at Ruth’s Chris.

For this price point, there is nothing else I could possibly expect from an electric bidet seat.  The Bio Bidet Slim ONE ticks all the boxes.

The Best TOTO Bidets, 2018

With 2017 way back in the rear-view mirror,  it’s time to start looking into which bidets are the best of 2018 (so far).

Toto has established itself as one of the premier if not the premier bidet manufacturer.

With a lengthy history, going back 100 years, Toto has a legacy of making wonderful bathroom fixtures.

2018 hasn’t been the most exciting year for the guys and gals of Toto’s bidet division.  With continued support of older bidet models,  nothing has happened as far as new washlets or washlet technology popping up on the scene.


However, this isn’t a bad thing. Toto’s lineup of bidets is already stellar, with a bidet to fit any budget and bum.

Here are the best bidets you can buy from Toto in 2018.


In Q1 2018, the Toto C100 still ranks as the best budget bidet you can buy.

Check out the current price of this bad boy here.

It all comes down to the exhaustive features list that truly boggles the mind when you compare it to the price tag.

Of course, it has all the standard features found on any budget bidet worth its salt, such as heated seats, heated water, an eco mode, adjustable nozzle positions and pressure and a self cleaning wand.


That’s where a sane person would assume the features stop.

But they don’t stop.

Toto somehow packs a warm air dryer and a deodorizer into this beast.

It’s as if TOTO wants to gaslight everyone who is interested in buying the C100, the price to performance ratio is just so good, it’s absolutely insane.

You can find models in both the round and elongated sizes, too, so any bowl can become a powerhouse of anal cleaning.

Check out our full review of the Toto C100 here

And for those who are SUPER curious, also see how it compares to the TOTO C200 here



On the other end of the spectrum is Toto’s S550e with eWater+.

Head on over to Amazon to see the current price of the S550e here

This bathroom behemoth comes packed to the brim with features.

In addition to everything the C100 has, the S550e features the use of eWater+ which is electrolyzed water that acts as a surprisingly able disinfectant.


The S550e will squirt that eWater+ all over the bowl before and after each dump session, providing you a much cleaner bowl -without you having to break out the disgusting, poo-water soaked toilet bowl cleaner- when compared to washlets that lack this feature.


The washlet also features a very suave looking remote, a night light and an auto open and close lid.

Besides the eWater+, the other major difference is the instantaneous water heating that provides endless, on demand hot water with no exceptions.  This allows the bidet to be much thinner than its budget bidet brethren.

This is in contrast to the C100’s tank reservoir system, which will still provides a good deal of warm water, but only until the tank is dry.  Consider the S550e if you expect multiple people to be using the toilet in succession.

 

Some may be wondering what difference is between the S550e and the S350e and if it justifies the leap in price.  

The S550e features pulsating and oscillating cleansing modes, whereas the S350e lacks these.

IMHO, oscillation is a MUST. The rapid sweeping of water back and forth removes filth so much better than just a constant spray in the same spot.  Think about how you clean anything with a hose – your car, deck, dog, kids, etc.  You sweep that mother back and forth.

The pulsating spray is also extremely nice to have (especially for us poor folks with a lack of fiber in our diets) as it can help with constipation better than a traditional spray.  This feature isn’t as necessary as oscillation, but it’s a wonderful addition to have.

Oh, it also features a much more attractive lid.

All of these features are worth the price difference.

Overall, the S550e is the best washlet that TOTO currently offers,  and also one of the best bidet seats available for purchase from any brand.

A full review is coming soon, so hold on to yer butts.

BioBidet BB1000 vs. BB2000. A closer look.

Ahhhh, BioBidet.

One of the top contenders in the fight to be recognized as the major player in the battle of the bidets.

Along with the likes of TOTO, Brondell, Novita and others, BioBidet is one of the most prominent manufacturers of bidets – both electric and mechanical – and consistently makes innovative, quality bidets.

Two bidets from BioBidet have left lots of people wondering which one provides the best value: the BB1000 and BB2000.  

See the current price for the BB1000 and BB2000.

Bottom Line Up Front

To save you a smidge of time, I’ll give you the verdict right off the bat:

The BB2000 is a clear winner in every category.  The looks, features and value provided are leagues ahead of the BB1000.

While some of the BB2000’s features aren’t revolutionary, the whole suite is simply a much better package than what you’d get with the BB1000.

Unless you’re truly strapped for cash and have a surprising fondness for the appearance of the BB1000, the BB2000 is definitely the way to go.

Read on to see for yourself how we’ve come to this conclusion.

Major Differences

To make the arduous task of selecting the proper poop-chute shiner a bit more bearable, we’ll start off with the major differences between these titans of tush cleaning.

The Look

The BB1000’s remote (top) looks like an outdated relic compared with the BB2000’s refined lines (bottom).

 

In my opinion, BioBidet have really missed the mark with the BB1000.

It has been compared to a “medical device fit for a retirement home” and honestly, I agree.

It’s big, bulky, sterile-looking (in a repulsive, hospital kinda way) and so far from sexy that giving it an Ed Hardy sleeveless T-shirt and slathering it in hair gel couldn’t make it look worse.

Even the remote for the BB2000 (you can choose either black  or white) looks sleeker and more modern.

The BB2000 however, while not a feast for the eyes, is much more pleasant to behold. 

With some nice curves and a slimmer profile due to its lack of a water heating reservoir, the BB2000 is a bidet seat fit for most toilets.

Instantaneous Heating

Besides the look (and majorly contributing it) of the two bidets, the second major difference between them is the BB2000’s instantaneous heating system versus the BB1000’s reservoir heating system.

When it comes to actually using these two systems, you probably won’t notice much of a difference.

The BB1000 has ample water to clean your rear – unless you expect multiple people to be using the seat in quick succession.  In that case, the latter users may get the shaft as whoever got in there first has most likely used a good deal of the warm water already.

The BB2000 doesn’t encounter this problem as its water is heated instantly and continuously.  Feel euphoric as infinite amounts of warm water caress your ass.

Stainless Steel Nozzle

The BB2000’s stainless steel nozzle is easier to clean and more hygienic.

The BB2000 has a stainless steel nozzle and the BB1000 does not.

In my opinion, a stainless steel nozzle is a feature that any bidet I’m going to buy should have.

Stainless steel is more durable, looks better, is easier to clean and is a more hostile environment for bacteria, viruses and fungi.

Hydro Flush

Cleaning from the inside out, BioBidet claims the BB2000 offers superior hygiene, although the jury is still out on if that’s entirely true.

The BB2000 has this feature, the BB1000 does not.  What it is refers to the way the nozzle of the BB2000 is cleaned by blasting water through the nozzle from the inside-out to more thoroughly sterilize it.

This is opposed to the way most other bidets simply run water over the outside of the nozzle to remove any nasty lil-bits that may have found their way onto the nozz.

Now, whether this is actually going to increase the cleanliness of your dump sessions is still up for debate as other bidets without this feature have been sufficiently cleaning asses for many many years without issue.

The bottom line on this feature is: if it makes you feel more comfortable knowing the inside of the nozzle can be cleaned at will, BioBidet’s Hydro Flush feature may be worth it for you.

Belted Nozzle Cleaning

The motorized nozzles on the BB2000 are able to move more precisely and more quickly than other bidet nozzles.

Basically, this means they can quickly shimmy in and out as the outside is being cleaned with water to more throughly remove anything on the outside of the nozzle.

The motor operated nozzle is also able to be more precisely adjusted than other nozzles, although how much this is going to affect your morning session is up for you to decide.

Most bidets have several positions for the wand/nozzle to allow for a customized fit for each user.  BioBidet’s motorized nozzle technology on the BB2000 allows for much smaller and more precise adjustments.

If you are unable to shimmy your rear a little bit to accommodate one of the BB1000’s preset nozzle positions, the infinitely adjustable BB2000 may be the bidet seat for you.

Night Light

Cool enough to impress any guest.

This is one of the coolest features of the BB2000.  Its cool, blue nightlight illuminates a small control panel on the side of the bidet for easy use even in the darkest, windowless bathrooms.

While it may not seem like a game-changer, a night light really makes your bathroom seem more modern as it is bathed in a calming blue light.

Not only is this useful for your late-night sessions, it’s probably the single most impressive feature for guests who haven’t experienced anything outside of a vanilla toilet.

 

 

At the end of the day, it should be obvious to most that the BB2000 is ultimately the better bidet.

As a bidet is a serious investment of money, you really shouldn’t settle for something unless you’re completely satisfied with the features provided.

If all you want is a bum-gun, there are plenty of other, cheaper bidets that fit the bill. Head on over to our reviews of the TOTO C100 and the Novita Slimline for our favorite budget bidets.

If you’re looking for a premium bidet, the BB2000 is a decent offering from BioBidet.

Also, take a peek at our favorite bidets from last year.

Brondell Thinline SimpleSpa – Review

Brondell Thinline SimpleSpa

Ridiculously inexpensive, smartly designed and simply effective.

More photos and the current price.

A quick look at the pros and cons of Brondell's newest bidet attachment.

Pros:

☑ Some of the most durable valves available - no risk of leaking.
☑ Looks fantastic compared to most other bidet attachments.
☑ Thin enough to not cause toilet seat tilt.
☑ Easy installation.
☑ Cheap
Cons:

☒ Only one nozzle means some shifting is required for a feminine cleanse.
☒ Lack of warm water may bother those sensitive to cold water.
Breakdown

Features: 7.0

Components: 9.0

Usage: 8.5

Misc: Bonus for its sleek appearance.

Total: 8.8
Bottom Line

A classic bidet attachment with modern looks. Don't expect to be blown away by its features list and stay away if warm water and feminine cleansings are a must, but Brondell has nailed the basic bidet attachment. You'd be hard pressed to find a comparably sexy and functional bidet at this price point.


The parts and features of the Brondell Thinline

First, the basics:

  • This is a bidet attachment, not a full bidet seat.
  • There is one nozzle for posterior cleaning.
  • It has a manual nozzle cleaning function.
  • It houses the nozzle behind a guard piece to keep it clean and sanitary for each use.
  • The nozzle automatically retracts after you finish using it.
  • Non-electric (uses only your home’s water pressure to operate).
  • It will fit virtually almost all two-piece toilets.
  • It comes in white only.
  • You will need a screwdriver and possibly a wrench to install.
  • The water pressure is controlled by twisting a knob.
    • Twist right for rear wash, left for nozzle cleaning.
  • One-year manufacturer’s warranty.

The Pros:

  • Extremely robust, durable brass and ceramic valves.
    • It’s no surprise that Brondell has included a proprietary, high-quality valve in their new Bidet attachment.  After being in the industry for so long now, the folks over at Brondell have a good idea of what their customers expect.
  • A unique silhouette.
    • Forgoing the traditional egg-shaped control area of most other bidet attachments, Brondell has followed in the footsteps of GenieBidet and the Tushy by prioritizing the look of the unit – leaving us with a very attractive and distinctive model.
  • Extremely thin.
    • Brondell has made a point of making sure this bidet attachment doesn’t throw off the zen of your bathroom experience in any way by making an attachment that sits very comfortably under the lid of your toilet without that classic bidet attachment tilt you might experience with other bidets.  
  • Easy to install.
    • Like most bidet attachments, it will take around ten minutes to install.
    • Can be adjusted to fit nearly any toilet.  Brondell uses adjustable plates with slots to ensure it will fit no matter the dimensions of your seat’s attachment (as long as it is a two-piece toilet).
  • An one-year manufacturer’s warranty.

The Cons:

  • No warm water option.
    • Definitely an issue if you live in colder areas.  The icy blast of H2O up the wazoo can be startling at best, an icy terror at worst.
  • Only one nozzle.
    • For men, no issue at all, but for women looking for a more sanitary rear AND frontal cleanse, this could be an issue.  Some scooting and shifting around solves the problem, but there are definitely other bidets which may not be quite as sexy, but can deliver frontal and rear cleansing for the same price.

Final Thoughts:

Brondell is upping their bidet attachment game and certainly raising the bar for many of the other companies who’ve been content with the same, tired designs for years now.  This bidet would suit those who are looking for an inexpensive, sleek looking bidet. If you don’t mind seasonally chilly water or shifting around a bit to get a proper feminine cleanse, definitely consider the Slimline.  If not, consider looking at the GenieBidet for a dual nozzle model (feminine and rear cleansing but trades the warm water feature for sheer sexiness) or the Luxe Neo 320 for a fully featured, if somewhat dated looking attachment.

Check out the Brondell Slimline’s price HERE.

Christmas Gifting: Why a Bidet Makes Sense

Hearing Bing Crosby croon how he’s dreaming of a white Christmas, I am immediately sure the white he’s talking about isn’t toilet paper.

In fact, many music historians agree, it’s most likely the white porcelain throne and the missing bidet that he’s longing for with all his heart.

 


I know people get annoyed at society at large for dragging the Christmas decorations out earlier and  earlier, radio stations starting 24/7 broadcasts of the halcyon songs of Yuletides past and malls and shopping centers opting to marginalize – or skip over completely – Thanksgiving in favor of its more lucrative holiday competitor.

There is, however, no point too early to start considering your budget when it comes to gift giving.  Seriously, You Need a Budget.

How could a bidet possibly justify itself as a gift?  What will your friends, family or colleagues think upon shredding the festive wrapping paper to find a posterior polisher inside?

This article aims to answer those questions as well as to give some bidet suggestions for those tough to buy for.

Here are the reasons a bidet makes a perfect, unforgettable gift.


Affordable!

  • Yes, bidets have become extremely afforda

    The Luxe Bidet 320. Best bidet attachment out there and sure to warm the hearts and asses of any and all who receive one this holiday season.

    ble.  For those on a strict budget, you can snag a very inexpensive, effective and easy to install bidet attachment.

    • Bidet attachments that I would recommend range from $25~$80
    • For the lowest possible price, choose the Astor Bidet Attachment or the Chrider Bidet with self cleaning function.
    • For looks, take a gander at the GenieBidet or the Tushy.
    • And if you want the absolute best bidet attachment for your peeps, the Luxe Bidet Neo 320 is what you should be getting.  It packs hot and cold water, a lovely lever control as well as feminine and rear cleansing options.

Check our ever growing list of bidet attachment reviews HERE!  Includes all but the Chrider Bidet, which we’re currently working on.

  • For those with a bit more leeway when it comes to your gifting budget, an entry level electric bidet will completely blow your recipients’ minds.  
    • For the absolute most inexpensive yet badass electric bidet, pick up the SmartBidet SB-1000 which includes a remote.
    • Looks-wise, the Novita Slimline is so sexy, you might get suspicious if someone takes a little extra time to use it….
    • The best entry level bidet seat is the TOTO C100  It has everything you’d want in a bidet seat…..AND MORE.  Really, check it out.

The recipient will actually use this thing!

Yes, we all know there’s nothing better than giving a gift that actually gets used and is appreciated.  From food and alcohol (seriously, just get me some whisky or beef jerky and I’ll love you forever) to external hard-drives and TVs – useful gifts rule.

You will feel so absolutely giddy hearing your giftees talk about how freaking astonishing using their new gift has been.  While you might not like all the details and information about their usage that they give you, just grin and bear it, as you can rest easy knowing you’ve changed a life or two.

Bidets are not only useful, they’re an investment.  The savings in toilet paper is fantastic as are the savings in time and aggravation.  Gone are experiences like this:

Also, as an added bonus, offer your hand at installation (give them time to make sure their toilet is clean first, don’t want to embarrass anyone), especially if the person you’re giving it to is a chronic procrastinator or isn’t confident in their plumbing ability.


It’s unique!

This probably should have been first on the list, but jeez-louise, who would ever predict a bidet to be inside the lovely, wrapped box?

The look on the face of your loved-one might be worth the price of admission alone!

Sure, they may seem shocked at first, but rest assured, as you go on to explain the benefits of a bidet and once they start imagining themselves using it – it’s game over, they’re going to be infatuated already.


People love upgrades, especially to their home.  The bidet is a perfect way for someone you hold dear to do that.

A bidet is more than an ass-sprayer, it’s a way to say “I love you”. <3