Travel Bidet Enlightenment – The Inside Scoop on Portables

Bidets are wonderful, but now that you’re out the front door, how do you stay clean?

There’s nothing quite like a sparkling-clean bum to improve your day.  A blast of H2O can give you an instant confidence boost, enhance your comfort and  put the “my butt is clean” strut back into your step.

A common problem bidet users encounter is not having enough room in their bag to carry their bidet seat with them to the park, mall, grandma’s house or wherever else they may find themselves.

A backpacker scans the horizon to find a suitable place to connect and use his BioBidet bidet seat.

Thankfully, travel bidets (also called portable bidets) exist.  These magnificent little squirt bottles are a cheap, quick and easy way to freshen the least fresh of places while on the go.

A portable bidet will typically consist of a squeeze bottle that can hold anywhere from 300ml to 650ml of water, a detachable nozzle and a (usually dorky) “travel bag”.

A scientific dissection of a popular travel bidet.

How do portable bidets work?

As seen above in the picture taken from Restroom Geographic’s April 2004 issue, a travel bidet has two components: a squeeze bottle and a nozzle that can be taken off for easy filling and also makes the unit more compact.

After a user struggles to free the bidet from its chintzy tote bag, it will be filled up at a sink and the nozzle will be reattached.  After you finish up your business, you’ll need to invert the travel bidet in order to get it where it needs to go.

Travel bidets have a one way valve on the bottom that acts as a “airlock”.  Covering this valve with your finger will stop any water from trickling out of the nozzle while it’s upside-down.  The valve also serves to keep water in as it’s rightside-up before use.

The International Bidet Station keeps its airlock closed as it orbits Earth.

After the bidet is inverted and in position, it can be squeezed to release its payload (H2O).  The airlock is released and will let air into the bidet to ensure a steady, smooth cleaning stream.  If you need more pressure, you can either squeeze harder or cover the airlock.

When you’re finished, you can inspect the bidet for any splatter artifacts, clean it up (I recommend using a bit of toilet paper to wipe any unsightly remnants off first, then hitting it with water and soap from the sink), pop it in its travel bag and then seal it away in your backpack, purse, etc.

How do you choose the right travel bidet?

In a world where choice is champion, many products (bidet seats included) offer so many options that it can become overwhelming when trying to settle on the best model.

Thankfully, the world of travel bidets is quite simple, with only a few differentiating features between various models:

  • Squeeze bottle size

The most important aspect of a portable bidet to consider. This is exactly what it sounds like: how  much water will you have to get the job done.  You are most likely familiar enough with your bathroom exploits to gauge whether you’ll need more or less water, so choose accordingly – the trade-off for a big jug is going to be portability.

  • Nozzle length

Nozzle length will determine the level of flexibility required to achieve that pristine clean that bidet enthusiasts are always going on about.  A longer nozzle means less reaching and less moving in general as they are easier to adjust.  Once again, as nozzles get lengthier, portability decreases.

  • Color

A pretty insignificant detail, as nobody is gonna see you using your travel bidet and it seems like every single model comes in a shade of either blue or green.

Some of the leading portable bidets compared:

Brondell GoSpaBlue Bidet BB-20BioBidet Palm TP-70SmarterFresh Travel Bidet
Bottle Size400ml350ml450ml650ml
Nozzle Length5 in4 in7.5 in7.5 in
ColorPurpleBlueBlue Blue

Take a look at our review of the BioBidet Palm TP-70, one of the best potable bidets available.

Note: There are also electronic travel bidets and I may cover them at a future time, but for now, I’m just sticking to hand pressure operated portables.